Drivewaygate, and a neighbor's disrespect

DEAR AMY: Our neighbors have a good driveway next to their house, as do we. They keep their vehicle parked in their driveway and do not use their garage. People living at the house, including our neighbors' tenants, relatives and visitors, use our driveway. We've asked that they not do so. The driveway needs to be paved again because of the excessive use. They're pleasant people and they don't use our driveway. How do we handle this without poisoning the waters?

--Good Neighbor

DEAR NEIGHBOR: You say your neighbors are pleasant people, and yet they don't seem to be acting like very good neighbors.

Homeowners need to respect neighborly boundaries -- and should ensure that their tenants, guests and family members also respect these boundaries.

Tell your neighbors: "We appreciate that you don't use our driveway, but everyone else in the household does use it. Please tell everyone that they should not use it. This is really driving us crazy."

You could throw off the habit by parking your own car at the top of the driveway for a few days. Otherwise, place a sawhorse across the entrance for a time with a sign taped to it with your house number on it. Give them time to adjust.

If they don't, you may have to ask your lawyer to send them a letter.

DEAR AMY: My wife and I have a decent relationship with my brother and sister-in-law. When we all go out to dinner, my brother and sister-in-law drink a lot, and my wife and I don't. At the end of the meal we split the check. Is it polite to ask the waiter to put my brother and sister-in-law's drinks on a separate check?

--Almost Teetotal

DEAR ALMOST: The most logical solution would be for you to change from check-splitting to check-separating.