Easing husband's pain from job loss

DEAR AMY: We've learned that my husband would likely be laid off within the next month. Fortunately, we have enjoyed successful careers, so with tight budgeting, I am hopeful that this will not financially impact us too dramatically. My husband is devastated; in addition to the impact this has had on his professional ego, he feels as though he's letting his family down by not being able to support us until he finds another job. I've tried to reassure him that this is actually a chance for him to re-evaluate whether he likes what he does and to get the kind of job he will love. His paycheck is not what makes him the amazing father and husband he is. He smiles, but I know in his heart he believes he's letting us down. Is there anything else I can do to make this easier on him? I hate to see him beat himself up over something that's out of his control.

--Concerned Wife

DEAR WIFE: One extremely unfortunate aspect of the current unemployment situation is that men are losing their jobs at a disproportionally high rate. This creates enormous stress and challenges for men and their families.

You can't completely inoculate your husband from the ego wound of his job loss. This painful journey is one where he will have to find his own way.

I read an article recently about a group of professional men who had been downsized from their firms and found a positive solution to some of the challenges presented by their job loss. They got together a few times a week to network on professional prospects. What they found was not only professional support, but friendship too.

Your husband could benefit from the friendship and fellowship of men in similar straits.

You could suggest that he set up a regular meeting with other colleagues (or former colleagues) at a local coffee shop. Volunteering in areas of his interest will also give him the opportunity to grow.