Ethically trapped by philandering boss

DEAR AMY: I work for a partner at a very distinguished company. He has been conducting an affair with a "client" for more than three years now. He has been married for well over 20 years. He is using company funds to wine and dine his mistress and is asking me to submit these expenses for reimbursement. If I report him I will lose my job; if I don't, then I feel I am cheating the company. I have asked to be transferred, but no other positions are available. Any advice for me?Trapped AssistantDEAR TRAPPED: This is an ethical issue. You have to do the right thing, even if doing so means you'll have to brush up your résumé.

Your boss' infidelity is none of your business. However, he is asking you to participate in cheating the company by ordering you to file expenses you believe to be fraudulent. This is your business.

You should speak with the person you report these expenses to, noting that you have concerns and questions about the expenses you've been asked to file. This person should investigate the expenses and decide what action to take.

There is a real possibility that these expenses are valid. If so, the financial officer will ease your mind. Document your concerns and keep copies of relevant records.

You also should seek counsel with an employment lawyer. Your company cannot dismiss you for questioning expenses, and, if it does, you should have legal recourse.

DEAR AMY: "Full of Regret" worried that she had euthanized her cat too soon. A wise vet explained to me the most appropriate time to euthanize an animal is "the day before." Meaning the day before the pain becomes unbearable.Animal Lover

DEAR LOVER: We can't know exactly when "the day before" is, but I think it's a compassionate guideline. Thank you.