Feeling betrayed by friend's bad behavior

DEAR AMY: I have a job at a local bar. A good friend had been trying to get a job with us for several months. An opportunity finally came up, and I got her a job. She was pumped to do a good job. The only problem is, she sleeps around. A lot. I asked her to not mess around with any of the bouncers. She broke this one rule . . . twice! Now I feel betrayed by her; I told the boss that she was a good person and would do a really good job. How do I go about voicing my hurt with her?Betrayed

DEAR BETRAYED: It is not clear which rule your friend broke -- a friendship rule laid down by you, or the establishment's rule. I'm assuming there is no actual rule stating that workers cannot be sexually involved with one another but that you wanted your friend to respect boundaries established by you. Tell her how foolish you think she is and how betrayed you feel.

Even though you recommended your friend, you are not responsible for her behavior or reputation while she is on the job. Nor can you protect her from the fallout (personal and professional) from her choices.

DEAR AMY: I am 11. Recently I had a fight with my best friend, and then she started gossiping about me to everyone. I got pretty mad. I don't like it that she has the power to make me cry if we're in a fight. She can be a great friend and took me under her wing when I was new in town, but now I'm wondering if we can still be friends. I am fuming. I see her everywhere, and so I can't really stop being her friend without causing a lot of drama. What should I do?Confused Friend

DEAR CONFUSED: Sooner or later, the gossip will find herself sitting alone at the lunch table because no one wants to be around her. The best way to deal with this behavior is to say, "Gossiping is wrong and it hurts people's feelings, so I don't want to be around you if you're going to do that."