Find a creative way to say goodbye

DEAR SUSAN: Last night, the woman I've been seeing said she wants me to plan "the most creative date you can dream up." I gather she read in Cosmo that she can learn a lot about a guy by the way he responds to the challenge. I despise being tested like this. Is it too analytical to concoct a test for her? (Something on the order of planning a five-course meal for me.)

Jimmy K., New York CityDEAR JIMMY: The test for "creativity" is laughable. (Surely, Cosmo can do better.) But before you mount a gastronomical counter-challenge and continue the silliness, you might want to start all over and choose another dating partner. This one annoys you to no end, and hopes of reformation are low. A timeout might be just the thing -- some Saturday nights without dating pressure. Cosmo will have justified its existence if this stupid challenge convinces you to turn away from the usual dating patterns and try something else. My idea of creativity is making your single life a no-date zone for a while. That's a test worth taking.

DEAR SUSAN: You speak of "a society in which (women) are the policymakers, hunters and gatherers, while men, supposedly the vanquished gender, get to be stay-at-homes, tending the babies, cleaning the house and servicing (women's) physical needs when (women) choose." That's quite a stretch, in my opinion. Men aren't sheep; they don't have to follow along with some distorted idea of what some think they are. Saying that men are becoming wimps means you're afraid they will become that way -- weak, passive and compliant. I don't buy it. For years, women have resisted outdated notions of what they "should" be to become the strong and fulfilled people they actually are. I have no doubt that men are capable of doing the same thing.

From the InternetDEAR BLOGGER: The diminution of the male can be summed up in one word: respect. Today's man quietly absorbs the barbs -- pummeled into silence by the force of the assault from media and sex partners. The aura of diminishing manhood is everywhere -- on TV, in car ads, etc. The man who emits an air of masculinity is the exception. The soft, apologetic male is pretty much the accepted norm. This is a swing of the pendulum, a reaction to the squelching of womanly individuality and strength. The pain of oppression is in our DNA, but it must be seen for what it is, a vestigial structure, and must not taint a respectful love pairing. And when it rears its ugly head, partners need to expose and bury its remains, return to sender unopened.

This is an issue of our times, a really huge one. I welcome readers' comments.