Forget dating, try group mingling
DEAR SUSAN: Dating is an artificial situation, and all too often, people judge one another by superficial criteria. It's so much better to develop friendships with both genders and bring an outgoing, positive attitude to the relationships. Then, who knows what might happen?
From the Single File blog
DEAR BLOGGER: Leave it to the young 'uns to come up with a better formula for meeting and mixing: group socializing. Being one of several is the perfect way to reduce tension and cut through all the nonsense that can pass for small talk with the other gender.
But the question remains: What works for those of us beyond our teen years? The closest I can come to group mingling is a group focused on an interest. Gravitating to an interest is almost foolproof. Think hard about the things that truly spark your interest. Imagine yourself in a group that feels the same way; the talk is good, the atmosphere relaxed, because they're not about some gossip tidbit or the newest sushi restaurant. The minute you walk into a collection of people who are as interested in (you fill in the blank) as you are, you've entered a family of like-minded people. Instead of throwing a wide net online, try customizing your online social life. Narrow your probe to an interest group.DEAR SUSAN: When a man says he's not interested in marriage, the best thing to do is accept that he means it. When men tell you they don't want to get married, 99 percent of the time, they mean what they say or mean they don't want to marry you. Chasing someone who has been that clear is a waste of time.From the Single File blog
DEAR BLOGGER: Interesting, your take on marriage: Take a man at his word, and if it's refusal, then mosey on down to the nearest exit. No regrets, no second thoughts, no "casual" dates. He isn't marriage-minded? That doesn't need translating; he's not going your way. My own mother passed along this wisdom. And I've seen women who have fought against reality, wasting precious energy and time on men who've openly declared their firm decision not to be a husband. Yet, there they were, playing the gentleman to women who believed that the more time those men invested in seeing them, the greater the chance they would be worn down to quiet acquiescence. I've seen those forlorn ladies get the boot from men who, long ago, said they would, told them so well in advance of the final curtain. Yes, there are exceptions, but for Pete's sake, take the man at his word. The odds of someone's changing his position on marriage are depressingly small.
