Getting through to her dad about sports

DEAR AMY: I am a 12-year-old girl with three older brothers (13, 19 and 20). We are all athletic. My dad pushes us to play sports, even if we don't like it. Right now I am playing soccer, which I enjoy. He signed me up for softball without notifying me. I really don't like this sport, but my dad is pushing me. He says the point isn't to have fun, but to win. I want to quit, but it is hard for me to talk to my dad because I don't like upsetting him and he ignores what I say. I don't like getting my mom involved because it causes a fight between them. When I have soccer practice, I get so excited, but when I have softball, it ruins my day. I do not want to continue playing this sport, but I don't know how to tell my dad.

--The Ignored One

DEAR IGNORED: You might be able to get your father's attention by appealing to him in a positive way. Tell him you love soccer but you don't think softball is your sport. There might be a second soccer team you could play on, on the days you have softball. Do some research to see if it's possible.

Quitting in the middle of a season would let down your teammates. Even if you don't enjoy the sport, you still owe them your best effort. Winning while having fun should be the goal.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to letters about giving gifts to charity in someone else's name. If someone gives a gift to charity in my name, who gets the tax deduction? I always assumed it was the giver of the cash, in which case, how is this a gift to me? I wouldn't bother to thank a person for such a "gift," as it doesn't benefit me.

--Irritated Reader

DEAR IRRITATED: You so miss the point. Gifts to charity are intended to honor the person in whose name they've been given while benefiting worthy causes. These gifts should be acknowledged and the giver thanked.