He finds wife's plans for him half-baked

DEAR AMY: My wife wants to change careers and to open a bakery. I know she will be successful, because she is successful in everything she has ever done. My issue is that she expects me to work there as well. She told me I could, "Clean pans, bus tables and take out the trash." Amy, I have a home-based business and vowed years ago that I would never again work in restaurants unless financial need dictated it. I cannot see myself taking out the trash or washing pans just because my wife wants to be a full-time baker. The only time I even hinted at the fact that I didn't want to work there, she called me lazy and unsupportive (I typically work about 15 or 20 hours a week.) How can I tell her that I don't want to be involved in the day-to-day operation of her new business, and at the same time convey that I support her fully?Hurtin' HusbandDEAR HURTIN': While getting relatives to work in the family business is a time-tested recipe for success, compelling a spouse to take out your business' trash is a less-than-savory ingredient in a marriage.

Would you accuse your wife of being lazy or unsupportive if she didn't want to sweep your office floor or tote your mass mailing to the post office for you? I assume not.

I suggest you tell your wife that while you won't be working at her business, you'd be happy to help her strategize and develop a business plan that doesn't involve you being her (trash) bag man.

DEAR AMY: "Concerned Aunt" was asked not to give her niece money for a college graduation gift (the niece's father is an addict, and this may have been a factor). You made a recommendation but missed an obvious solution -- a gift card for a favorite store, restaurant or experience the graduate would enjoy. This would keep cash out of the household.

Affectionate Aunt

DEAR AUNT: Great idea!