He's reluctant to subsidize in-laws

DEAR AMY: My father-in-law has been laid off twice in the last five years. He's still able to work, but since his most recent layoff (more than six months ago), he's stopped looking for a new job. Instead, he's been taking investment "seminars" and investigating get-rich-quick schemes. His wife is paying all the bills on a minimum-wage salary. She recently called my wife, asking if we can help them pay their car insurance bill, because her hours have been cut and she can "only" work 60 hours a week. My wife is upset. Her father had always been the primary earner, but he is also the primary spender. She wants to help pay their bills (though we can't afford as much as they need). I'm uncomfortable with this. Neither she nor her mother is confrontational, and her father won't listen to either of them when they ask him to actively search for a job. My in-laws' financial situation is none of my business, but I don't want to subsidize his vocational apathy indefinitely. What should we do?Strapped Son-in-law

DEAR STRAPPED: Your in-laws made their financial situation your business when they asked you and your wife for money.

Your mother-in-law sounds like a very hardworking person, but if her hourly wage can't keep the household afloat, the four of you should sit down together and go through their bills.

This will be an uncomfortable session, but you two should try to see this situation as the result of choices they have made; it is within their power to change their situation by making different choices. If your father-in-law isn't willing to work, the only way to manage their household differently would be to cut expenses. One obvious cut would be the cost of get-rich-quick seminars, most of which seem to get the seminar organizer richer quicker. You can only hope your father-in-law hasn't learned to tap your income in those seminars.