Her husband wrongly accuses her of infidelity

DEAR AMY: I have been married for four years. I think my marriage is wonderful, and I love my husband more than anything else in this world. We have a young daughter, with another one on the way. My problem is, he is constantly accusing me of cheating on him. It is driving me crazy! I do not go out, ever. He has checked phone records and searched everywhere he can think of, but he has found nothing! This is because I am not doing anything. I am a good wife, and I believe in the sacrament of marriage. I am so frustrated by this. I feel mentally beat down. He says he does this because he loves me so much and doesn't know what he would do if I cheated. I have nothing to hide.Extremely Frustrated

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You may think this constant suspicious surveillance is frustrating - but I think it's abusive.

If your husband has no cause to suspect you of anything and if nothing you do will assuage his concerns, then you will be trapped in this unhealthy cycle, which may escalate. You and your husband must work this out to have a healthy relationship. His insecurities and accusations will kill your marriage, and he needs to stop.

DEAR AMY: My grandson is a college student, and he recently moved in with me. He is 23, and I didn't know much about him until now. He's clean, intelligent and a good student. However, his eating habits drive me crazy. He is addicted to soda - he drinks at least 10 a day. He only eats junk food. I have offered him some home-cooked meals, but he refuses.

Concerned Gramma

DEAR GRAMMA: Other than asking your grandson to cut down on the soda he drinks, I don't think you should interfere too much. You are still getting to know each other; you should look for ways to guide and influence him, without being too strident.