Honor teen's choice to opt out of modeling

DEAR AMY: My 13-year-old daughter is 5 feet 9 and has had interviews with two well-known modeling agencies, both of which were interested in representing her. Since the interview process, my daughter has gained some weight and is no longer interested in modeling. She said she does not want the stress of always worrying about what she eats. I respect her for this. She is by no means overweight by normal standards, but would be for the modeling world. I would never push her to pursue something she is uncomfortable with, but I am afraid that someday she will regret not taking advantage of this unique opportunity. Should I press the issue in some way or just leave it be?

--Model Mom

DEAR MODEL: In my family, we have a little saying when one of our daughters swims against the tide, stands up for herself and makes a brilliant choice: "Give that kid a Buick!" I intuit that you are the one with second thoughts about your daughter's decision.

Please be careful not to project your own aspirations onto your daughter. She is 13 and has made a good and healthy choice. If a healthy-weight adolescent is too overweight for the "modeling world," then the modeling world is not a world she should live in.

Modeling is not a "unique opportunity." If your daughter chooses this path at some point, she can pursue it.

For now, she gets the Buick!

DEAR AMY: I've offered to hold a baby shower for my stepson's girlfriend. We are not sure if this child is his. Is it OK to wait until after paternity is determined to have the shower?

--Unsure

DEAR UNSURE: It is rude and confusing to question the paternity of a woman's unborn child while also offering to hold a shower for her. Ask your son what he would like you to do and follow his lead.