How should he come out to his parents?

DEAR AMY: I'm a 13-year-old boy, and I'm gay. I was wondering what advice you could give me on coming out to my parents. I don't know how to do it.Lost

DEAR LOST: I shared your letter with Michael LaSala, who is a psychotherapist, professor at Rutgers University and author of the book "Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child" (2010, Columbia University Press).

LaSala, who is gay, works with young people who are facing this challenge.

Coming out is a process. LaSala suggests pondering some important questions: "What are you hoping for in coming out to your folks?" "What is the most realistic or likely outcome, and are you prepared for it? If your parents are part of a gay-intolerant religious or cultural tradition, or if you've heard them talk negatively about gay people, that tells you that even though they love you, they will have a tough time with this."

"Will they ask you to leave the house? You need to think about this possibility. Do you have a place to stay? Do you have a network of friends, family members, teachers and other adults you can turn to for emotional support?"

This is an adjustment for everyone, and even if your parents accept and enfold you, you (and they) should be equipped with resources.

Look up these websites, and do some research (you can then share them with your parents): Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: pflag.org. Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network: glsen.org. The Trevor Project: trevorproject.org. (The Trevor Project runs a hotline staffed with counselors. Keep this number on hand: 866-488-7386.)

You should start this conversation by choosing a good time, sitting down with your parents and saying, "Mom and Dad, I have something important to talk about."