How teachers can best handle e-mail from parents

DEAR AMY: You ran a letter from "Tired Teacher" in your column. Frustrated was asking how to manage the near-constant e-mail contact from parents demanding instant responses. As someone in the education field who has experienced this, I have found the best way to handle these folks is to avoid being defensive and to stay calm. You can respond back via e-mail first; then progress to a phone call and then a meeting, if that doesn't work. It helps to keep in mind that parents usually want what is best for their child, and your job is to help them see that what you are doing is for the good of their child in the long run. If you always respond professionally and politely to e-mails, even when they are nasty, eventually the majority of parents will come to trust you. Unless it's an emergency, any communication with parents should wait for planning periods and after school, to keep the teacher focused on his or her primary job - which is to teach children.Not-So-Tired Teacher

DEAR TEACHER: I have had an abundance of mail in response to the letter from the teacher who didn't know how to respond to the demands of parents who expected an instant response to their e-mail queries and demands.

Your ideas are great.

Speaking as someone who deals with a great volume of e-mail, I concur with your suggestion to "avoid being defensive and to stay calm." This is the best way to respond to just about any negative contact.

I'd also like to recommend an informative (and very sweet) book detailing the sometimes tricky relationship between parents and a child's teacher: "Between Home and School: Letters, Notes and Emails," by Bill Harley (2010, Round River Productions).

This might be a good holiday gift for a special teacher in your child's life.