How to approach dishonorable maid of honor

DEAR AMY: I got married six months ago. The other day my mother got a call from my maid of honor's mom. It turns out that my maid of honor booked the limo for my bachelorette party using her mother's credit card. Now she is refusing to pay her mother back. Her mom now wants my mother to chip in and also to try to get money from the other bridesmaids to defray the cost. Originally, the maid of honor insisted this was her wedding present to me. I don't know how to approach this. I feel awful that her mom could end up with the bill, but I don't feel it's our responsibility.Worried Bride

DEAR BRIDE: Your friend and her mother should resolve this without involving you or your mother. The fact that both mothers are now involved in this issue should be embarrassing to your maid of honor.

You need to get in touch with her and tell her that because she is stiffing her mother, this matter has now spread to the greater neighborhood.

It is not your responsibility to reimburse this mom. If she wants other bridesmaids to chip in to reimburse her, she (not your mother) should ask them.

DEAR AMY: "Leaning Toward Cleaning" wondered if it was ethical for her cleaning lady to set up her own business and approach her to be a client. It is not ethical for her to do this. The employer, who trained, marketed and employed the cleaner, has a proprietary interest in the client information. Many employees sign a document saying they cannot "poach" clients in this way.Employer

DEAR EMPLOYER: If this former employee signed an agreement against using contact information to approach clients, then it is unethical for her to do this. The original letter didn't contain this information; my view is that if someone wants to set up her own business and can legally and ethically do so, then a client should feel free to use her service.