How to kick Fanny out of the book club

DEAR AMY: I have been in a women's book group of about 15 members for eight years. About a year ago, I invited a neighbor - let's call her "Fanny Dashwood" - to join the group without knowing her very well. This was a mistake. She is abrasive, pushy and rude. Whenever my two close friends and I do something, Fanny confronts us, drilling us about why she was not invited.

When we have big gatherings that are book group-based, we do invite her. At this point, the group as a whole does not particularly like Fanny. A member of the book group is planning a camping trip for a special family occasion; several of the members are going because they have known this family for many years. When Fanny found out about this, she confronted the woman during yesterday's book-group meeting, saying, "Is it a book-group camping trip?" Then, Fanny invited herself and her two large dogs on the trip - to our dismay. Basically, we don't want her in the group anymore, and she really is not welcome on the camping trip. How should we handle this?

--Mean in Minnesota?

DEAR MEAN?: In Jane Austen's "Sense and Sensibility," Fanny Dashwood never really gets her comeuppance. Your Fanny, however, must.

Because you invited Fanny into the group, you must politely hold the door for her exit. Now that you know how boorish she is, you should protect your group by asking her to leave. You say, "Fanny, I'm so sorry, but this isn't working out. Because you are such a divisive member of the book group, I'm going to have to ask you to step aside. I'm sorry, but this just isn't a good fit."

The person hosting the camping trip should grow a backbone and handle this uninvited guest herself.

Fanny may stomp and hiss, but she was doing this anyway. Turn the page and start a new chapter. And remember - it's called a "book group," not a "friend group."