Hughes laments not being able to help

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla.

No disrespect intended, but Phil Hughes doesn't feel like a non-waivers trade deadline pickup.

Several times in the last couple of weeks, when discussing what he may or may not do in addressing the Yankees' rotation before the July 31 deadline, general manager Brian Cashman has given some variety of this response: There might not be anything available on the market as good as the pitchers I've just had come off the disabled list in Bartolo Colon and Phil Hughes.

That isn't Hughes' perspective, though it's not a case of the pitcher taking umbrage with Cashman.

"I'm super-happy to be back and everything like that, but I don't feel like a guy that's gotten traded," Hughes said by his locker earlier this week. "I feel like a guy that's kind of let the team down in the first half of the season, and now I have to make up for that. If Cash wants to think it's like a midseason trade or whatever, that's great, but I don't think it really matters what anybody thinks of it. In my own head, I just don't view it that way."

What Hughes, who will make his third start since returning from the disabled list Friday night at the Stadium, does feel is a degree of self-reproach for the right shoulder inflammation that landed him on the DL from April 15 to July 5.

"There's nothing you can do about it, but nobody wants to be tagged as an injury-prone guy," Hughes said. "You feel bad about it because you're still getting paid and you feel like you're not doing anything . . . I don't know if necessarily 'guilty' is the right word, but it's certainly not a good feeling. That's the way I look at it. It certainly feels like you have a responsibility and you're not able to fulfill that."

In Hughes' internal dialogue, although he knows that getting hurt was out of his control, deep down he believes he should have been pitching for his team.

"I don't view it as a trade- deadline pickup like [Cashman] was referring because I should have been here the entire time," Hughes said. "I feel good that I'm back now, but I just don't view it that way because I feel I should have been here, winning games from the beginning of April and not trying to get back."

Now that he is back, Hughes is looking to make up for lost time, a process that started July 6 in Cleveland and continued last Sunday in Toronto. Displaying a new grip on his curveball, Hughes struck out a season-best five and looked the best he has in his five starts this season.

Like Colon and Freddy Garcia, Hughes has heard the talk about the rotation not being good enough to win the World Series. It reminds him of another season.

"I think if you look back at 2009, was that necessarily a championship rotation from the beginning?" he said. "I think a lot of people had different views of that, during the season as well. I just know if we go out and do what we're capable of doing, we have a really good chance to win every day, and I think that's all you can really ask for."

The 2009 Yankees, helped by a couple of strategically placed off days in the postseason schedule and a rainout, were able to win the World Series with a three-man rotation -- CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Andy Pettitte, who won all three postseason clinching games. As Hughes correctly pointed out, there were questions about the 2009 rotation pretty much all season, including right up until Pettitte won Game 6 of the World Series.

"Hopefully," Hughes said, "at the end of the season, we can say this was a championship rotation. That's obviously the biggest goal."