Husband's not really ready for kids

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have been married for seven years. We have been trying to conceive a child for the past six years. I have had two procedures done and my doctor says I'm healthy and should not have any trouble conceiving a baby.

We both really want to start a family, but it seems as if he doesn't really want to because he says nothing is physically wrong with him and he refuses to get checked because he say's he's embarrassed. We had a chance to adopt a child, but we came to realize that we can't afford it because my husband is really "loan happy." We have been stuck in this rut for years now. I feel like him getting these loans is a way to run from the whole baby situation. I have tried numerous times to talk to him about it and can't seem to get anywhere. What's your take on this?

InconceivableDEAR INCONCEIVABLE: I don't know you or your husband, but despite your professed confusion, you actually paint a pretty clear picture.

Your husband won't agree to fertility testing because he doesn't want to have a child.

I think you are probably correct to assume that his financial habits provide a way for him to run from fatherhood.

That's one way to interpret his behavior.

Or - without getting too fancy about it - you could say that he is irresponsible, or childish, or simply ill-equipped or unwilling to handle fatherhood.

You should ask your husband to be an honest partner and lay all your mutual issues on the table, without the risk of you freaking out during this high-stakes conversation.

If he doesn't want to have a child, you will then have to make some decisions about your life.

Couples therapy (including financial counseling) will help both of you clarify what seems murky.