If you feel coerced, end the relationship

DEAR AMY: I am confused as to where the line is drawn between trying to please your partner and being rudely manipulated into giving in. For example, recently my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I wasn't really into it and I told him I wasn't in the mood. He said, "It's OK -- you don't have to enjoy it." Am I right in believing that this is not an OK thing to say? I told him that saying that to me is unacceptable, but I gave in and did what he wanted. I feel as if we mostly do things for him, but when I get the attention I had previously wanted I just feel uncomfortable. I've been manipulated sexually before, with other guys, and he knows that -- which is why it is a particularly sensitive and emotional topic.

--Worried

DEAR WORRIED: My thoughts are that your so-called boyfriend has sexually manipulated and coerced you into having sex after you said you didn't want to. Evidently, he missed the "no means no" memo.

You should break off your relationship with this bully.

You should also consider calling the police. "I gave in and did what he wanted" doesn't sound like consent to me. You can learn more by checking the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network's website at rainn.org or by speaking to a counselor at the organization's hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673).

Ponder the definition of "friendship." True friends don't coerce, manipulate or force their friends to act against their will.

You should hold the men in your life to the same standard you would expect from your closest friends and family members. In a healthy relationship, partners honor and elevate one another.

Because this seems to be a pattern for you, after you break off your relationship you should seek professional help to better understand your own impulses and behavior.