Initiate discussion on disease testing

DEAR AMY: My younger brother has been looking for a job without success and will exhaust his resources by the end of this month. I am afraid he will ask to move in with me for "a while," which I fear would translate to "forever." My home is quite tiny. I live alone, and after raising four wonderful children, I truly cherish my privacy. I love my brother very much but over the past several years he has become increasingly unpleasant. He becomes angry and confrontational. A lot of his behavior is not entirely his fault, as we believe he has Huntington's disease, which runs in our family and which can cause such mental and emotional deterioration. Because he is subject to such erratic behavior, I am afraid to bring up the fact that we feel he has the disease and suggest he get tested to confirm it - or to rule it out. Please help me decide how to handle this. I feel so selfish.

Sorry Sister

DEAR SISTER: Rather than wait for your brother to show up with his duffel bag, you should pre-empt this event by talking with him now.

Tell him you'd like to help him find housing but that you won't be able to provide him with a place to live. You may be able to find a room for him to rent in a private home in exchange for chores or yardwork.

People who fear they may have Huntington's disease sometimes choose not to be tested.

You might be able to initiate a conversation about this by asking an open-ended question: "Cousin Woody decided to get tested for Huntington's. What are your thoughts on testing?"

This disease affects all of you (even if you test negative for the gene).

Check the Huntington's Disease Advocacy Center for information and a supportive community. Its highly informative website is www.hdac.org.