Internet shocker tarnishes veteran's hero

DEAR AMY: I'm one of five friends who served in Afghanistan. "David" is the true hero of our group. He is the main reason three of us returned home to our families. Now honorably discharged, we and our families meet once a year for a reunion. Last year, David informed us he had lost his job and could not attend. This year, David told us that he and his wife were headed for divorce. Our group paid David's expenses in an effort to cheer him up. Then, when his cellphone was disconnected, I surfed the Internet for a new phone number. Imagine my shock when his picture popped up on a sex offender registry! I am not sure what to do. I want to speak with him before I say anything to anyone else. He saved lives when we were under fire. What do you think?--Friend Under Fire

DEAR FRIEND: You should handle this by being loving, kind and transparent toward someone who has faced (and continues to face) extreme life challenges. It sounds like your friend has a multitude of problems -- and many supporters.

The fact is, you do not know the nature of his offense (or even if there is one). Reach out and tell him exactly what you've learned, and offer to listen if he wants to talk.

DEAR AMY: As a mother and grandmother I was stunned by your reply to the parents of a 2-week-old baby who was passed from person to person, many of whom didn't support her head. Your response should have been, "No parents should pass around their 2-week-old baby!" A 2-week-old can be seen as she lies in her crib or bassinet or in her parents' arms. Visitors shouldn't be breathing on her, kissing her or otherwise exposing her to their germs. Wait until she's a few months old before subjecting her to all this.--Appalled

DEAR APPALLED: Your model of keeping a new baby in a bubble until it's a "few months old" simply doesn't work in many families.