Is having an infant in your bed safe?

DEAR AMY: My daughter had a baby four months ago. Her in-laws moved in with them at that time. The baby was put in a bassinet for the first month or so. After that, the bassinet was put away, and they did not put the crib up. The in-laws put the little baby to sleep in their bed. I have heard of horror stories of babies being smothered or falling out of bed. My daughter said the baby will sleep with them until she starts school. I have talked to my daughter, but she does nothing about the situation. She says they don't want the baby to cry. Babies need to cry. I do not know what to do, so I am writing to you in the hope you will print my letter and they will see that I am right about the baby's sleeping habits.Worried GrandmaDEAR GRANDMA: I shared your letter with Dr. Claire McCarthy, pediatrician at Boston Children's Hospital and an assistant professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School.

She replies: "According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the safest place for a baby to sleep is in the same room with the parents -- but in their own sleep space. When babies sleep in bed with the parents, there is always a risk that the baby could be smothered, fall off the bed or otherwise hurt.

"Many families co-sleep, for lots of different reasons. If so, they should do everything possible to lessen the risks, such as by making sure the mattress is firm, getting it low to the ground, keeping the baby away from any pillows and minimizing bedding.

"If parents have been drinking, are taking medications that make them very sleepy or . . . are very heavy sleepers, they should definitely not sleep with their babies."

Babies cry as a way of communicating, and parents should respond. When teaching a baby to sleep independently, we can let them cry for short periods of time, but a cry should never be completely ignored.