Is it legal to make her shave for volleyball?

DEAR AMY: I am a girl in my junior year of high school, and the volleyball coach won't let me compete until I shave my underarms and legs (our uniforms are sleeveless tops and shorts). I don't want to be forced into something that I feel is completely unnecessary. Is this discrimination? I really want to play volleyball!Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

DEAR GONE: If your coach also insisted that male volleyball or basketball players shave their underarms and legs, then this wouldn't qualify as discrimination.

I shared your letter with Lenore Lapidus, director of the Women's Rights Project for the American Civil Liberties Union, who responded, "This is clearly gender discrimination, based on stereotypes of how girls and women should look." Title IX prohibits discrimination in any institution receiving federal funds.

Title IX is the federal statute that pushed open the door for girls to compete in sports on an equal footing with boys.

Lapidus suggests you start by talking to the coach. "Try to work it out at school. It seems like something they should come around about because this is fairly clear-cut." If your coach continues to insist on this shaving rule, take your concern to the principal.

DEAR AMY: My husband's mother lives close to us and likes to do impromptu things, like take her two teen grandsons out for a fast-food meal. Because the boys often have other plans and we have other activities going on, she's upset with my husband and blames him. I try to invite her for dinner when that works for us so we can all be together. A Tennessee Mom

DEAR MOM: This seems most easily solved by your family's setting up a schedule of sorts so your mother-in-law will be able to see and enjoy her grandsons regularly - for Sunday dinner, for instance.