Knowing a neighbor drinks and drives

DEAR AMY: At a recent neighborhood gathering, one of the couples (childless, late 30s) revealed that when they go out for nice dinners, they usually have two or three cocktails just prior to leaving their house. That way, they explained, they "only need to order one or two more" at the restaurant during their meal, thereby saving on their tab. The rest of us were taken aback to hear them admit that the husband drives just after having these drinks in a relatively short period of time. One of us verbalized his concern, and the driver admitted that he has a "buzz on" when he gets into his car. When someone expressed the hope that this driver would never hurt anyone present or anyone that we care about, he just chuckled. His wife sees nothing wrong with this. We can't watch their every move or call 911 each time we see them leave their house at dinnertime.

Short of that, though, we feel some obligation, beyond talking to them again, to try to prevent a tragedy. We're not sure which we would feel worse about - the thought that they might hurt themselves or others during a drive, or that we could have prevented it.Frightened Neighbor

DEAR FRIGHTENED: If you know this driver is impaired and you see him get in his car, you can call the police and ask for them to be on the lookout for the car, but unless they have some obvious reason to pull the car over (the police need to witness it), they won't intervene.

The only people who can truly prevent a drunken-driving incident are the people choosing to drink and drive.

You and your neighbors should do what you would wish anyone would do, and tell them, "It's the holiday season, and I hope you realize that if other people do the same thing you do, the roads will be crowded with impaired drivers. I just don't want you or anyone else to get hurt." You might embarrass them into better choices.