Like a virgin, touched for the second time

DEAR SUSAN: What a lovely column on renewing virginity. You surely touched many people by your words. My son and his lovely young wife waited two years to become lovers, and that made their wedding night and honeymoon memorable.

--From the Single File blog

DEAR BLOGGER: My thoughts on renewing virginity got raves -- and hisses. Virginity (for me) is, indeed, renewable because it can merit a second chance. The first sexual experience is usually disappointing, painful and unromantic. The moments meant to bring partners closer to each other are largely a failure. But when the event is replayed with a beloved, the joining of two transcendent souls expressed through their flesh, the event is truly the first time. Virginity is renewed. Think about it.

DEAR SUSAN: How is it that some people seem to know right away -- even after a date that seemed to have easy, flowing, comfortable conversation -- that it just isn't right? I feel open after the first date about getting to know someone a little better before deciding about compatibility. But today after such a date, I'm left with the feeling that my instincts aren't as sharp as I thought. I'm divorced, but have a wonderful and full life -- close friends, three wonderful children and great work. I know what you advocate: immerse yourself in activities you enjoy, live your life and make plans not dependent on finding a partner. Friends of mine have differing opinions. Some say not to give up this Internet venue, that it's basically a numbers game. I am looking for more of your words of wisdom.

--From the Single File blog

DEAR BLOGGER: My words mean the most to those who most appreciate them, so consider yourself a member of the club. As you crawl between crisp white sheets, think about making a formal apology to your viscera, those watchful guardians of your happiness. It sounds as if they've been given short shrift, that the pleasant date inspiring this letter held some warnings you overlooked or willfully ignored. My best guess is that your neediness was at work. You two needed more time to get to know each other. But in the privacy of your home, when the man in question didn't ask to see you again, reality hit. Your instincts are intact -- healthy and operational -- but they were swamped by a tsunami of need. Widen your world, gentle lady.