Mom's good luck candle a danger

DEAR AMY: My mother-in-law alternates Christmas holidays with our family and my husband's two siblings. She is generally a well-behaved guest, but brings one tradition I can no longer tolerate. She burns a bayberry candle each Christmas Eve, believing this will guarantee her prosperity in the coming year. Once it is lit, she insists that the candle burn completely or her fortune will be derailed. This is not a jar candle, but a candlestick. We attend church on Christmas Eve as our special tradition, and for obvious reasons, I am not comfortable leaving my home with an unattended flame. She created such a fuss this year that my husband allowed her to do it. I was furious at the thought of her ignorance in putting our home, contents and family pets at risk for her own self-interest. I deem this to be irrational. Needless to say, while at church, I was distracted and prayed that my home would be safe. Thank goodness it was, but the incident ruined my entire Christmas Eve. I think it is important to always honor and respect the rules of the host and hostess. How do I say no to this dangerous tradition?Flamed in Ohio

DEAR FLAMED: I agree with you that it is exceedingly risky to keep a candle burning in an empty house, though there might be ways to reduce (if not eliminate) the risk.

For instance, she could use a different kind of candle, which you could set in the fireplace (if you have one). She could also offer to stay home during church to guard her tradition - and your home.

Also, Christmas Eve lasts 24 hours. Perhaps she could burn the candle during the day, before you leave the house.

You and your husband should survey his other siblings to see how they deal with this. Then they should provide a united front in advising their mother of how dangerous this is and helping her find a safer way to enjoy this tradition.