Moral compass points in the right direction about sex

DEAR SUSAN: Your recent column about sex was thought-provoking and, in a sense, painful to read. I admire you for writing about those experiences and feelings. I found it ironic that your piece came along when it did, because just a few days before it was published, I realized what it is about "That '70s Show" I cannot stand. The show gives such a distorted view of the loss of virginity. And it is seen in reruns every night by millions of young people. What must they think when they're bombarded with what you refer to as "junk sex"? Mass culture makes it difficult to think about the issues you raise and the advice you give. Thanks for doing so.

Brent D., Long IslandDEAR BRENT: Being a thinking person, you have within yourself a personal adviser, a sense of right and wrong. Clearly, yours is developed enough to buck the tide of mess culture and live by your own moral compass. But it takes time and oodles of life lessons to arrive at the point that you can confidently ignore the pundits and steer through life guided by that compass. Wondrously, that sense of right and wrong is intrinsic; we're wired to be decent people. It's only when we get lazy and allow other people to do our thinking that we get into trouble. Left to our own devices, we're OK people. But when static disconnects us from our basic nature, the compass wobbles, and the best part of our nature can fall into shadow. That won't happen to you, Brent. You're on the case.DEAR SUSAN: I'm 45 and have never married. After he had spent four years with me, my 49-year-old boyfriend decided we "fought" too much and he wanted his freedom. I left him after he had stayed out all night. He told me I didn't have to leave and said the same to my brother when he went to pick up my belongings. This man was my best friend. He bought me wonderful things. We talked for hours on end. I haven't gotten over him and think about him every day. I suffer from depression and health problems but somehow manage to dredge through life. I'm not someone who can enjoy being single; looking through personal ads scares me. I feel I will never make a connection like the one I had. My ex even had the audacity to say I'll always be his best friend! Yet he doesn't contact me. Any advice would be extremely appreciated.

Audrey A., Long IslandDEAR AUDREY: With friends like him, you don't need enemies! But in a way, he's released you to discover what makes you tick and, in the process, become your own BFF, the ally who will be alongside until the last day. Imagine, instead of clinging to the wreckage of a failed relationship, you could be building inner strength and a self-directed future. By doing so, you'll make better choices in partners because you'll understand why you chose them. Makes great good sense to me; how about you? Isn't it about time you did something to lift the depression (improving your health in the process) by getting to its roots?