Negotiate rates before you pet-sit

DEAR AMY: I am a teenage girl who doesn't have a job. Whenever people ask me to house-sit or pet-sit while they're on vacation, I happily take up the offer.

Recently, a family asked me to feed its cat and fish, and asked me to take in the mail for nine days while they were away. I went into their home and there were no instructions whatsoever! I fed the cat how I thought it should be fed, and the fish soon ran out of food. Everybody survived. When they got back, they paid me $10. My dad says $10 for nine days of work isn't even close to what he got paid in the 1960s. I'm shocked, too, but I don't know how to respond when they ask me to pet-sit the next time. Unsure Teenager

DEAR UNSURE: I have news for you. You do have a job.

You are officially a small-business owner. Because you accepted this payment without correction or complaint, you should let it go, but take this as a very valuable lesson.

Set reasonable rates for your services. Use a computer to print up a "rate card." In the future, when you're asked to house- or pet-sit, present the card to your potential client.

DEAR AMY: For several years, I have had a relationship with a married man. We e-mail and text several times a day. We talk for hours. When we need to talk about a problem, we turn to each other, not our spouses. We've never had sex but have confessed to fantasies about each other. We gradually realized that we are more married to each other than we are to the people we live with. What would you call this if not an emotional affair? Shouldn't we have this kind of relationship with our spouses? Sure, but they don't want it.

Emotionally Involved

DEAR INVOLVED: Ask yourselves if your spouses don't want this intimacy with you both because they know they are no longer the primary relationship in your lives.