Denise Flaim

WE HAVE a confession to make: Until last weekend, we'd never been to the

Boardy Barn (270 W. Montauk Hwy., Hampton Bays, 728-5760).

Of course, we'd heard of it: Opened in 1970, the white clapboard

building on Montauk Highway has evolved over the decades into a must

stop for young weekenders. So last Saturday, we dropped in to remedy

once and for all this egregious gap in our recreational resume.

This past weekend's overcast skies were hardly a minus for the

tented, weather-impervious Boardy Barn, which dominates that slice of

afternoon between beach tanning and club hopping. (Hence its compact

hours: Saturdays from 4 to 10 p.m. and Sundays from 4 to 8 p.m.) On a

paved outdoor area that resembled a schoolyard, under

blue-and-white-striped tenting, young men in flip-flops and their female

counterparts in Daisy Duke cut-off shorts danced to infectious, retro

party tunes like "The Lion Sleeps Tonight."

The Boardy Barn does have an indoor bar, accented with a raggedy

moose-head mount and a garland of sunglasses left behind by patrons over

the last four weekends; by season's end, observed one staffer, the

designer-eyewear chain will reach across the room. But most of the

action at the Boardy Barn is outside, where patrons take part in one of

its time-honored pastimes: beer tossing.

Now, don't get us wrong: The beefy bouncers who fan out among the

crowd in bright-orange "Boardy Barn Staff" T-shirts are evidence enough

that dousing one's neighbor is not exactly encouraged. But some patrons

would agree that the mediocrity of the tap beer (the Boardy Barn does

not sell bottled brews) is a powerful inducement.

"You have to eat a lot of bread before you get here, because this

tap beer does weird things to your stomach," explained A.L., a

26-year-old from Elmont.

Her friend, 29-year-old Joan Mullins of Queens, added this was her

eighth season as a Boardy Barn regular. Her one concession to age has

been a refusal to stop here on Sundays, which is, hands down, the bar's

busiest day. "If this was Sunday, it would be so crowded you wouldn't be

able to walk," she observed.

But if you're a collegian, Saturdays have their advantage: Every

week the Boardy Barn highlights an institute of higher learning,

offering its students free admission after 6 p.m. and freebies to the

first 150 partiers. Skipped this weekend because of Father's Day, the

policy resumes next weekend with Manhattan College.

And because Saturdays are more laid-back, agreed 24-year-old Scott

Hunzinger of Forest Hills, revelers have a little more leeway with

beer-dousing - provided they learn a few techniques to evade the

bouncers. "You flick the beer," he explained, dipping a few fingers

into his plastic cup. "Or you shoot it through your teeth until a

bouncer tells you to stop."

The brew-spewing lesson over, Hunzinger turned his attention to his

friends, who had gathered to celebrate the impending marriage of

25-year-old Mike Missakian of Cleveland, originally of Deer Park. They

were busy lining up for a makeshift game of limbo, using someone's

woven-leather belt in place of a pole. Meanwhile, searching for a way to

get his name in this story, best man Mike Vigliotti, 24, of Deer Park,

displayed the one skill he had learned at the Boardy Barn: how to drink

two beers at once, using a sort of cascading-fountain effect.

That reminded Hunzinger about the biggest Boardy Barn caveat: never

dress to impress. "Don't wear your nicest shoes," he warned, gesturing

to the sticky floor. "The Boardy Barn makes its own gravy."

Admission to the Boardy Barn is $5 on Saturday and Sunday; $10 on

holiday weekends.

Possibilities

Depeche Mode monopolizes the salt-sprayed stage at the Jones Beach

Marine Theater (221-1000) tonight and tomorrow . . . Tonight's Jane

Olivor show at Westbury Music Fair (960 Brush Hollow Rd., Westbury,

334-0800) has long been sold out; a second gig by the New York chanteuse

has been added for Aug. 17. On Saturday, you'll have better luck finding

seats for vocalist Michael Franks and guitarist Stanley Jordan . . .

More jazz on Saturday with fusion vibraphonist Mike Mainieri and Steps

Ahead at Inter-Media Art Center (370 New York Ave., Huntington,

549-ARTS).

Whitney Houston belts them out on Sunday at Nassau Coliseum

(Uniondale, for info, 794-9300; for tickets, 888-9000) . . . On

Saturday, Saffire: Uppity Blues Women bring their high-energy, sometimes

salty repertoire to The Stephen Talkhouse (Main Street, Amagansett,

267-3117).

Local bands: Pop-rockers One Groovy Coconut take the stage tomorrow

at J. Parkers (275 Rte. 25A, Miller Place, 928-4000).

Singles picks: Teddy's (at the Plainview Holiday Inn, Sunnyside

Boulevard, Plainview, 349-7400) reintroduces a singles night on Sundays.

The kicker this time around: no smoking. Drinks are half-price from 8 to

9 p.m., followed by a freebie buffet at 9:30.

***

Hot Spot

Another one for the disciples of "If it's free, it's me": On

Saturday at 8 p.m., oldies station B-103 (WBZO-FM) sponsors an outdoor

concert at Hidden Pond Park (LIE exit 58 North, Hauppauge; for info,

666-3900). Slated to perform are Johnny Maestro & the Brooklyn Bridge,

The Orlons, and Randy & the Rainbows. Donations made at the event

benefit Suffolk County PAL. And bring your own lawn chair.