Overcoming a baby shower dustup

DEAR AMY: I am pregnant, and my sister and mother will be co-hosting a baby shower for me. This has deeply offended my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, who felt that they should be co-hosts of this event. I tried to brush this off, saying I really appreciated their offer, but as I had so many nice offers from friends and family, I decided to keep things simple. A barrage of e-mails followed, stating that I was not integrating our families and that I should reflect upon this. I find this absolutely absurd, and somewhat offensive. Is there any polite way to deal with this?Exasperated in N.Y.

DEAR EXASPERATED: Your in-laws have a point. Your baby shower does present an opportunity for you to integrate the two sides of your family.

However, they could have offered to throw you a shower and it doesn't sound as if they have. A "barrage" is not an appropriate response to a perceived slight.

Say, "I'm so sorry this has upset you, but integrating my two families together has obviously proved challenging. I hope you'll bear with me." Be nice, but don't let anyone push you around.

DEAR AMY: As a woman, engineer and educator, I found "Worried's" comment about women drivers tailgating to be offensive and antiquated. His statement about women not understanding "the physics, the dynamics or the technologies related to automobile operations" is baseless, but perceptions like his continue to discourage young women from pursuing careers in science and engineering. Actuaries have been at this game a long time: Insurance rates set for drivers are based on much more thorough and robust data than Worried's. ChristineDEAR CHRISTINE: Thank you for poking holes in "Worried's" theory.