Parental guidance: A second-grader who acts out in class

Our second-grader is doing well academically but often fails to follow classroom rules. He distracts the class, zones out, fiddles with school supplies instead of working. At home, he listens, concentrates and behaves well.

Set up a meeting with the teacher, parents and child, advises Wendi Fischer, psychologist in the Elwood School District and in private practice in West Islip. Identify two or three behaviors that most need addressing. Make a simple list that you can photocopy, with a space next to each item to draw in a smiley face. Tell your son you're going to make it more fun for him to follow rules. Each day, the teacher should send home a copy of the chart, drawing in a smiley face next to each category the child succeeds in. "The key is to make it positive," Fischer says. "The teacher can say, 'Hurry up and stop the fiddling so I can give you your smiley face.' " This should be simple enough not to add a task to the teacher's day. The child earns rewards at school and at home. The first couple of weeks, reward him for getting smiley faces 50 percent of the time. Then, make it harder, maybe he needs 75 percent smiley faces. It shouldn't be 100 percent, or the child may give up.

The school reward should be something he likes, such as computer time. At home, it should be a free parent/child activity, such as a trip to the park. If necessary, the school psychologist can assist.