Richard Dyjak: 1947-2023: Ex-Ellington coach made a difference

Jan. 26—Rich Dyjak's life was about giving back to the Ellington community through his involvement in youth and high school sports.

His family will honor his memory by having that continue.

Richard Paul Dyjak, 75, died peacefully at home on Jan. 2 after fighting pancreatic cancer for nearly two years. His wife of 54 years, Mary Lou, his three daughters, and five grandchildren survive him. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Ellington High School athletic department, Coach Richard Dyjak Fund, 37 Maple St., Ellington, 06029, to support youth in their athletic endeavors.

"My mom and my sisters were sitting around shortly after he died and we were thinking about things that were important to him and everything came back to youth sports," his youngest daughter Sarah Lundin said. "With pay-to-play and everything being so expensive, it's a challenge for many people. If this fund can help someone play sports that might not have been able to, he would have loved it."

A memorial Mass celebrating Dyjak's life will be held Saturday at 10 a.m. at the Church of St. Luke in Ellington.

It was a life that was well lived.

"For Dad, sports were like guide posts in life and it helped us make sense of things even as we grew beyond playing," middle daughter Lauren Mas said. "Looking back, you can see that not only was he teaching us soccer skills, he was teaching skills about life. You didn't understand that when you're young or in high school but it became clearer as we got older.

"As our relationships continued to evolve he would talk about the old days, but he didn't live in them or try to recreate them. He took pride in what you could get accomplished together and that was something he'd tell his grandchildren. I smile thinking about it."

Dyjak moved to Ellington in 1972, following his service in the U.S. Army. By the end of the decade, he had three daughters and wanted what was best for them and to have equal opportunities.

He was a "Girl Dad" well before the term became popular.

"Dad was young when I was born, 20-21," oldest daughter Anne Kane said. "He grew up with two brothers and then he has all daughters. What did we do? Play sports."

They would excel at soccer.

But where would they play? Dyjak had the idea of putting together a girls youth soccer program. He and town recreation director Bob Tedford made it happen.

"Dad was a fighter at heart," Kane said. "My sisters are pugilists as well, we all have his fighting spirit. He was a super-competitive guy and that's something we all inherited and something we've used throughout our lives.

"Bob Tedford was a big part of it because we needed the support of the rec department people in town. We were a rag-tag bunch and we didn't win a lot. We would play teams from down state or New Jersey and they had these cool bags and uniforms and we had t-shirts with iron-on letters. But we had fun."

And it grew.

In 1986, John Hostetler became the coach of the Ellington High girls soccer team, though his background was in basketball. He recalled after one of his games his first season seeing Dyjak and asked his opinion of the way the team played. Hostetler then watched the youth soccer team practice. Dyjak would become Hostetler's assistant.

"We became soccer buddies," Hostetler said with a laugh.

"But you know what?" he added. "We would have never accomplished what we did in the 1990s without him."

In 1990, Mas was a junior and Lundin a freshman as the Knights won the NCCC title and advanced to the Class S state tournament final against Avon at Windsor Locks High.

Mas gave Ellington a halftime lead with a 35-yard rocket. After Avon tied it early in the second half, Lundin hit a pop-up from 15 yards away over the goalie's head and into the net for a 2-1 lead with 22:49 left. The defense did the rest and the Knights had their first state championship.

"I remember at the end the ball was rolling around and when we won the first place I looked was at the sideline," Mas said. "You always wanted to make your coach proud and your dad proud, and I could see the smile. When Sarah got that goal I knew what that moment meant and it's something I've taken with me for a long time."

Lundin's first look was also at the Knights' bench to her father.

"He was jumping up and down, just so happy for us and so happy for the team," Lundin said. "We played so well together and the players on that team were really like a family. It was such a proud moment."

The real celebration began when the family returned home.

"We huddled together," Kane said. "We had this saying, 'She who has the pride and will to win cannot be defeated.' We were screaming it. It was like a crowning achievement for us."

Lundin would be part of a second Class S state championship team as a junior in 1992 and helped the Knights to the 1993 final in an All-State senior season. Ellington would win a third title in 1997.

Dyjak would go on to be the head coach at Hall High and at Ellington High. Youth sports would return to his life as he supported his grandchildren at their events.

And, of course, he was always there for his daughters as they became mothers.

"My daughter is 21 and when I first coached her she was six or seven," Mas said. "I was having a hard time getting the kids to listen and do drills. I was like, 'Dad, can you help?' He started them on skills and I'm thinking it's too advanced and it won't work. In five minutes, he had them doing things and working hard that I almost couldn't believe it. It was such a learning moment for a young parent. He challenged them and believed in them and they responded by showing what they're capable of."

Lundin's younger daughter, Charlotte, is 11 and a soccer player.

"For me, having him at my daughters' games was magical," Lundin said. "He loved being there for them. I remember after my Dad had been diagnosed with cancer Charlotte scored a goal and the first thing she did was point at him."

In his final days, Dyjak was able to enjoy soccer's World Cup and he had been a fan of the UConn women's basketball team for years with Nika Mühl among his favorites.

In 2012, Hostetler returned as Ellington's coach replacing Djyak. In the second round of the Class M tournament, the Knights beat Tolland 3-2 in penalty kicks. Three years earlier, Tolland eliminated Ellington 2-1. As the Knights huddled, Hostetler saw Dyjak standing at the fence next to the stands.

"He had coached some of the players and all of them knew him," Hostetler said. "When I told them he was at the game, they all ran over to see him. It was so cool. Rich did a lot for them and they remembered."

The family he loved and the young athletes he mentored will never forget him.

For coverage of all sports in the JI's 18-town coverage area, plus updates on the UConn women's basketball team and head coach Geno Auriemma, follow Carl Adamec on Twitter: @CarlAdamec, Facebook: Carl Adamec, and Instagram: @CarlAdamec.

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