Seeing cheater's emails galls her

DEAR AMY: I have trust issues. I dated a known cheater for a long time. He often denied evidence I found of his possible dalliances and made me believe it was coincidence or that it was one-sided attention from another woman. We have been broken up for a while now. Two weeks after we broke up, I found an email exchange in his account that details an intimate night between him and another woman. They said how much they cared for each other. They spoke of their meetings, of hiding things from me, and they detailed past encounters. I want to share with him that I know the truth. Friends tell me this will make me look bad. What should I do?

--Hurt

DEAR HURT: You dated a "known cheater" and he did what cheaters do: He cheated. This is disappointing, but more disappointing is what this has done to you. You have become an email snoop. I can't imagine your ex would care what you know at this point, and if you reveal this to him he would very quickly brand you the dishonest one.

You care about his behavior and he doesn't -- and so this episode will not go well for you.

If it would make you feel better, you could forward back to him the email exchange you read with only one line at the top: "You need to change your password."

DEAR AMY: You advised "Flustered" (the woman whose husband smoked but she was the one who received comments about the odor) to be sure she changed her clothes before she went to choir practice. Part of the problem may well be her hair. As a nonsmoker who worked at a restaurant where smoking was allowed, my hair used to reek of smoke as I finished a shift. She may need to shower, too.

--Nonsmoker fromEast Lansing, Mich.

DEAR NON: Excellent advice. Thank you.