She's entangled in friend's affair

DEAR AMY: My best friend has been having an affair with a married man since the day he was wed. Hours before his nuptials, he confessed his love for my friend but said he couldn't abandon his fiancee. My friend and the man claim they care about his wife but continue to sleep together and share explicit e-mails, texts and photos. The man is popular at church and considered an exemplary citizen. He also happens to be my boyfriend's brother. My boyfriend and I are the only ones who know about this, and the guilt is increasingly frustrating to us. The man's wife has become very hostile toward me and implied I am interested in her husband. My boyfriend and I cannot attend family functions without her sending threatening texts to me. Despite my feelings of hurt and betrayal, I have kept my friend's affair a secret at her request to protect the man's reputation. What to do?

--Confused in Cali

DEAR CONFUSED: A person's reputation has no currency unless it is authentic. You are lying to protect another lie, and you and your boyfriend are facing the consequences.

You both should exit from this mess by saying: "We are tired of keeping your secret and so we won't. We will not cover for you in any way. The next time your wife sends a nasty text accusing me of being interested in you, I'm going to tell her the truth."

DEAR AMY: In reference to the letter from "Wondering Friend" about a 12-year-old boy who kept stuffed animals, we have a grandson who, at 12, not only had lots of stuffed animals but also carried one around with him everywhere. This drove my husband crazy. I taught elementary students for 42 years. I told him to leave the boy alone. The grandson is now a music teacher and a fine young man.

--Barbara

DEAR BARBARA: You are a wise woman. Thank you.