She's had enough premarital sex

DEAR AMY: I'm in my mid- 20s. I've decided that the next time I am in a relationship, I do not want to be sexual until I am either engaged or married (in other words, we are seriously committed). Friends tell me that my choice is ridiculous because I've "already had sex!" and that no man in the 21st century is going to agree to these terms. I made this choice because in the past when my romances became sexual, I would find myself feeling vulnerable, used and insecure, and then my partners would eventually leave anyway. But in these times, am I being ridiculous?Done with Premarital Sex

DEAR DONE: To answer your question, virginity does grow back. Figuratively, anyway.

The smartest thing to do when relationships proceed along predictable unpleasant patterns is to see what you can change. I give you a lot of credit for choosing to behave differently. But you should also examine your relationship history to see why being sexual with someone throws you off kilter.

If being sexual transforms you from a self-confident woman into someone who feels used, vulnerable and insecure, partners will want to flee. And if you choose the wrong partners, your vulnerabilities will surface. It's a cycle you are wise to want to break.

Basically, you need to start behaving like the person you want to attract. Men are not that different from women in that, when the time is right, they also want to have lasting and happy relationships. I don't know if your new chastity requires that you save yourself for marriage. This will be very much up to you and the man who loves you.

DEAR AMY: My fiance and I plan to send out "save the date" cards for our June wedding. He wants to word it to request that people let us know as soon as possible whether they can attend. I disagree. Isn't that what the invitation is for?Prospective Bride

DEAR BRIDE: I agree with you.