Single File: Male anger still an issue

DEAR SUSAN: Fair's fair, so why are you letting off the hook the phenomenon of male anger? I can assure you that it's out there and it's being written about. You're likelier to hear about female anger because as a woman, you're probably more exposed to female-centric media and female friends' venting. But the phenomenon of male anger toward women remains real, and you'd do well to acquaint yourself with it before writing (yet again) about how women are single-handedly destroying any chance of partnership between the sexes.

From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Fair's fair, so why are you forgetting (or missing altogether) the "Single File" pieces blasting men for using their vestigial brutishness on the women in their lives? Yes, male anger is very much out there, and it is indeed being written about -- in this column and in many other places. But my focus tends to spotlight the female, because though for eons she's been known to combine nurturing with cleverness, I see her now misusing her new independence as weaponry against men, cowing them into undeserved guilt. (Curious? Write for my free Declaration of Undependence.) Women are the feeders of the race, the molders of families, and I see them trading in their potent softness for prickly relations with men. It's a huge mistake.

DEAR SUSAN: Your description of cheating is good: It's "an unhealthy mindset that knows (and respects) no boundaries." But I think it's more than a mindset; it's a set of morals and values each person has.

From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: The thing about cheating is that once someone is cheated on, he or she is forever doubting. It's practically impossible to convince the cheated one (the cheatee) that the cheater will never do it again. Once cheating is part of the equation, the whole relationship becomes tenuous -- weakened, never to be the same. No amount of backtracking or seemingly sincere apologizing can ever -- ever -- restore the relationship to its former trust. (Deep, deep sigh.) And once cheating has been discovered, nothing can restore the feelings between lovers. Yes, double-dealing is a permanent scar on the cheater -- and, worse, the trust that's been built up. It has a way of piercing a relationship to its base. Once mutual trust has been violated -- in a small or large way -- doubt has been implanted. And love has a tough time recuperating from that. Yes, it goes to the very heart of a person's character. And the victim? The victim has been violated, as surely as in physical rape.