Team up to get dirty clothes off the bathroom floor

Every night after my 9-year-old showers, she leaves her dirty clothes in the bathroom, even though I've repeatedly told her to put them into the hamper (it's in a different room). How can I get her to comply?

The first step is to find out why your daughter isn't picking up after herself, says Marcy Safyer, director of The Institute for Parenting at Adelphi University in Garden City. "Help the child problem solve," she says. "The child may say, 'I'm freezing when I get out of the shower so I wrap my towel around myself and go in my room and put on my pajamas and I forget about my clothes,' " Safyer says. Maybe the solution is having her undress and deposit her clothing first, then put on a towel and head to the bathroom.

"It's not how to get her to comply, but how to get her on the same team," Safyer says. She wouldn't inflict punishment because it escalates the battle, and kids can last a lot longer than parents, she says. Also, you don't want your daughter cooperating only because of negative consequences or the minute that you're not around to make her miserable, she'll say, "Hip hip hooray, I don't have to pick up my clothes," Safyer says. "You want to instill this as part of her character."

Focus on being a positive influence, she says. "The goal is to help your child feel good about what she can do to take care of herself at her age."