Text this: She's a needy dater

DEAR AMY: I'm 27, and several months ago I ended a long-term relationship. I've been on the dating scene for a few months, and it's the exact same thing: I'll go on a wonderful date (or two), and then the guy will just stop texting me. I don't understand it. This past weekend, I met an amazing guy who had every quality I've ever looked for. He never texted me until after I sent him a mean message. I said it's harsh that he wouldn't at least let me know that he wasn't interested. I told him now I know he's a write-off. I wish I hadn't sent the text because he's a keeper. How can I possibly trust any guy when all guys do the same thing? I recently told one guy I'm not interested because I feel like I'm a dating disaster. He told me not to date jerks. He said he's different. I said, "Hah, heard that before!" A male friend of mine said that maybe I'm expressing too much interest at the beginning. I've tried the whole "playing hard to get" thing, and it never works either. I don't understand. Guys: You say women are hard to figure out. Well, last time I checked, a simple text message wasn't too difficult to master.

--Over It

DEAR OVER IT: Women are hard to figure out. You, for instance. According to your own account, you come on strong, and then when you don't get exactly the response you want or expect, you retaliate. Scary.

The best predictor for relationship success is found in how you treat other people. If you behave like a relaxed, in-charge and openhearted person, you will attract people who appreciate and share these qualities. If you behave like a demanding harridan, you'll get what you've already gotten. Being confident, relaxed and laid-back is not "playing hard to get." It's taking the time to make a good and thoughtful choice.

Your focus should be on getting to know someone rather than trashing an entire gender based on your own insecurities.