The minefield in a wedding invitation

DEAR AMY: My 23-year-old son was invited to a friend's wedding. Then he was asked if he would do the wedding video. They told him he would be paid and that he could bring a guest. My son agreed. He is quite good and puts a lot of work and time into these projects, and though he is not a professional videographer, he has experience. With the wedding three weeks away, my son emailed his friend with details, including what he needed to be paid (nothing near what a pro would charge) and whom he was bringing as a guest. He then received a reply that told him they expected to pay him $200 and thought the project would be good for his portfolio (which he does not need). Further, they did not want my son's friend to attend their wedding. My son asked my opinion. Should he beg out? Is he responsible to go and shoot the video but not edit it? He feels angry because he already invited the young woman who has bought a dress to attend. What should I advise?Mom

DEAR MOM: If your son asks to be paid to record this event, then he is a professional videographer.

Now he needs to act like one. He should have set his price before agreeing to do this.

The marrying couple seems to have lost control of their event, and inviting the videographer to bring along a date would only drive up their costs.

This couple has not behaved well by inviting your son and then asking him to work at the wedding, but if he wants to accept their terms at this point, he should be very explicit about what he will and won't do for $200. Shooting the footage on the day but not editing it would cut down on his commitment. He should offer this idea to the couple.

If he wants to beg off, he should tell the couple now. He has reasons to decline (this gig is littered with red flags), but he should give them as much notice as possible.