Tip for Cuomo in debate: Don't say very much

Here's how Andrew Cuomo wins Monday night's debate at Hofstra University: He says nothing.

Less, if possible.

He makes voters and News 12 viewers believe that he's the one serious candidate in the race. It may not be as hard as you think. Meet the others:

Multimillionaire Republican nominee Carl Paladino, whose bellicose treatment of a reporter and his Neanderthal views on homosexuality have wasted the real chance Republicans had in this tea-party year. No one denies that Albany is dysfunctional. No one denies that Cuomo is an Albany fixture. But the more people get to know Carl, the harder it becomes to imagine "governor" before his name.

Most of the other candidates face the same problem, only more so. Retired madam Kristin Davis is running against Eliot Spitzer, and he's not even in the race. Rent Is 2 Damn High Party candidate Jimmy McMillan has trouble keeping his letters and numbers straight. Former city councilman Charles Barron of the Freedom Party will run for pretty much anything.

Who does that leave? Howie Hawkins and Warren Redich from the Green and Libertarian parties seem like bright enough fellows with actual issues of concern, but Greens and Libertarians are rarely elected governor of New York.

With so many voters inclined to hate incumbents this year, Cuomo's election could have been at risk.

While, strictly speaking, he's not an incumbent, he's been in Albany long enough to look and think like one. He's the only one in the race who has. He does best Monday night by not reminding voters of that.

ASKED AND UNANSWERED. Will Barry Stern get time off for good taste? The Long Island University Museum director is off to prison for a year and a day for stealing nine stunning Egyptian artifacts . . . Verizon's White Pages cutbacks mean what? Less eyestrain? Denser forests? Stronger pre-Thanksgiving booster-seat sales? . . . With so many Latin Kings gangmember busts, at some point won't they run out of Latin Kings to bust? . . . Were those two Riverhead Town Board members channeling Whoopi and Joy when they stormed out of a meeting this week? . . . How did the Rocky Point bike thieves decide which animals to dress up as? Two gorillas and a chicken? Why not? . . . You were expecting to GET somewhere next weekend? On the LIRR? . . . Have the good folks at Peconic Public Broadcasting been adequately thanked for saving WLIU/88.3 as a fully independent, locally owned public radio station? If not: Thank you.

E-mail Ellis at ellis@henican.com. Follow on Twitter @henican.

ELLIS' LONG ISLANDER OF THE WEEK:

Bill Clinton. No, he doesn't actually live here, but he's had more than his share of impact on Long Island. Not just as a former President, not just as a senator's spouse, but as the person he is today. In a rousing talk in Woodbury last week, he reminded the Long Island Association that the suburbs still matter, the future belongs to those who grab it, and the New York metropolitan area is still the center of the world.