Tired of hosting uninvited dog

DEAR AMY: We have friends who like to bring their dog everywhere with them, including places the dog has not been invited. They call when they're almost at their destination and ask the host, "Oh, we have Rex with us, is that OK?" I love dogs as much as the next person, but I think this is rude. These friends think nothing of bringing the dog to a party, without even checking to see whether someone there is allergic to dogs, afraid of dogs, etc. Many people seem to have at least one friend who thinks nothing of showing up with a dog in tow. We're not talking about assistance dogs -- we're talking about plain old pets. Any advice for how to head this off at the pass?

--Dogged Out

DEAR DOGGED: If these friends call you from their car as they pull into your driveway and say, "We have Rex with us, is that OK?" you need only say, "Oh, that's not going to work for us tonight. I'm so sorry." You do not supply any excuses, rationale, solutions, etc. You simply answer their query and then endure some empty space while they figure out what to do. If they offer a quick solution that works for you, then great.

Also, you should probably not refer to pets as "plain old pets." As with children who are not necessarily welcome at every adult gathering, so pets must sometimes be left at home. But a beloved animal never seems like a "plain old pet" to the human who loves it.

DEAR AMY: Brokenhearted Father wrote about his grad-school daughter who was depressed after a breakup. Years ago, I was also a grad student, depressed over the breakup of my first serious relationship. My father and mother were very compassionate and patient with me, and I slowly recovered (with their help and support).--Happy Now

DEAR HAPPY: I thought this particular daughter was lucky to have such a compassionate and loving dad in her corner.