When a young guest behaves oddly

DEAR AMY: I invited a good friend from work to my house for dinner. Our husbands get along well and we have children the same age (9 and 11) so I wanted to extend the friendship beyond work hours. The adults lingered at the table and the kids went off to play. Later, I found her oldest son in my bedroom. I told him it was off limits and he left with a good-natured apology. Afterward, my children told me he acted very strangely. He kept leaving the family room (where they had snacks, games, etc.) and wandered the rest of the house.

He was aggressive with our animals and too rough with my children's things, but he stopped when they told him to.

He touched everything and opened drawers, closets, etc. He seemed to have spent most of the visit sneaking through the house, touching and moving things. He put my husband's ties under our bed and cat food in the dryer. He hid a cell phone in a cabinet. Nothing is missing and nothing is really damaged.

I am flummoxed. Her son's behavior seems abnormal to me, but she has never mentioned it. Do you have any thoughts, Amy? I don't want to hurt my friend, but her son's behavior concerns me.Concerned Co-worker

DEAR CONCERNED: Speak to your friend. Her son might have a disorder along the autism spectrum (that's my educated but not definitive guess).

His mother should have indicated to you that he has a tendency to wander and poke around.

The fact that she didn't may mean she isn't quite aware of the scope of his issues - or perhaps being in an unfamiliar house triggered some of this behavior. She should be told.

Say, "We really enjoyed having you over. I need to let you know that Timmy had some adventures while we were in the other room. No harm done, but I think you should be aware of it because it was pretty unusual."