When hostess gifts get out of control

DEAR AMY: How did hostess gifts get way out of hand? I watched a morning "news" show that had suggestions for expensive gifts or whole baskets full of trinkets to give to hosts. When I throw a party, I do not expect any gifts. If someone asks what to bring, I might suggest a food or beverage to share, but it's not expected. They are my guests. If I'm invited to a party, I do ask if there is anything I might bring to help contribute, but why should I go out and buy expensive kitchen gadgets to present to my hosts? I roll up my sleeves and help clean up if the hostess lets me, and I make sure to thank them. I say, let's say "no" to this retail pressure!

--Small Town Gal

DEAR GAL: Thank you for bringing up one of my current peeves. I blame goody bags.

By granting every young guest at a birthday party a bag filled with goodies, we are perpetuating an idea that every act of generosity is reciprocal. You give a gift? You get a gift. You throw a dinner party? Your guests are bound to bring gifts or contributions.

I think most hosts are like you (and me) - happy to entertain with no thought of a gift.

You can assume that the current fad for "hostess gifts" springs from an enterprising commercial impulse to create a need where none exists. Morning "news" shows have hours each day of programming to fill - and, like the goody basket you describe, these hours are filled mainly with useless trinkets.

DEAR AMY: Your response to the "Lakeside Neighbors," whose neighbors played loud music, was right on. We had neighbors who installed speakers on their deck. One day the music was playing loudly. I dragged my speakers outside and blasted them with a healthy dose of Beethoven. We haven't had a further problem!

--Lin

DEAR LIN: Ludwig strikes again!