When to speak out to rule breakers

DEAR AMY: I was in the "eight items or less" line at the supermarket (with my two items), and the woman in front of me had 13 items. I can understand having one or two extrathings, but five? The checker said nothing. Would it be acceptable to politely ask if I can go ahead of her, since I am an express shopper and she is not?

Something of a SticklerDEAR STICKLER: It is always acceptable to speak up politely when other people are breaking the rules in a way that negatively affects you.

However, trying to be more tolerant at times is a good way to exercise your own internal compass, as you ask yourself if you can truly let something go without having it ruin your day.

Recently at the movies I worked up the nerve to ask the guy in front of me to please stop texting - the bright light from his screen was shining directly into my eyes. He apologized and stopped. I felt I'd struck one small blow for civilization.

DEAR AMY: "Frustrated at Work" was trying to deal with an office mate she said was "emotionally unstable." Frustrated mentioned that the co-worker was taking antidepressants.As one suffering from depression, I'm disappointed that you didn't take this opportunity to call out her apparent bias. Though the co-worker may not be an ideal office mate, the fact that she is on antidepressants should not be listed as a justification of her general inadequacy. Living with depression is challenging enough without the added fear of being ostracized. A ReaderDEAR READER: I didn't challenge or mention the co-worker's antidepressants in my answer because I think it's possible that people being treated for depression are capable of being as annoying as anyone else. I agree with you that having depression shouldn't create a bias - and yet, often it does. Thank you for the correction.