Will his threat help her diet? Fat chance

DEAR AMY: My husband of 25 years told me that unless I lose a lot of weight by Christmas, he doesn't want to stay married to me. I've failed at any number of diet and exercise plans over the years, but this is the first time he has used our marriage as a threat. Part of me wants to call his bluff. I am working with a doctor to lose weight but should I stay with this jerkface?

Weighted Down

DEAR WEIGHTED: "I'll leave you unless you lose a lot of weight by Christmas" might be an effective short-term motivational tool, but (even if you succeeded) this directive wouldn't begin to address your real weight problem, which is that lump of gristle you affectionately call "jerkface." You and your husband are playing out a dynamic where you are actually willing to sabotage your own efforts in order to "call his bluff" and prove your point, enabling you to stay fat while also blaming your dieting failure on his ultimatum. The essential reason to diet is to prove to yourself (not anyone else) that you love yourself enough to risk long-term change. Losing the protective layer of fat will make you vulnerable. It will change your life, including your relationship with your husband.

Focus on your health, no matter what your husband opts to do. The lesson is that you two can't control each other. Don't stay fat to prove this point.

DEAR AMY: "Not Anne Frank" wanted to know if she should keep her old journals. My vote is that she should. I began keeping a diary more than 30 years ago. When my daughter was a teenager, she picked up the diary and said, "Who's going to read this? It's the dullest thing I've ever read." I told her I didn't care if anybody ever read it. I'm still keeping a dull diary and it has been used to settle arguments about dates, locations for events, the price of gas, and to let me relive happy times.

Dull Diarist