Worried over sober son's drinking

DEAR AMY: Our son was an addict (drugs and alcohol) for many years, starting in high school. We never suspected his problem until he hit rock bottom. Through counseling, support and prayers from his family, he has beaten his habit and seems normal and happy. He's in his early 30s and has held a good job for 10 years now. When he visits us, he is always his old self -- an outgoing, funny, loving young man. We live several hours away from him. During his last visit he went with us to a reception where wine samples and crackers were offered. He has never been tempted to try liquor (at least not in our presence), but this time I saw him sampling some wine. I have always heard that a recovering addict can never tempt him/herself with even a little taste of alcohol. When he visits us, he insists it's OK for us to have a glass of wine with dinner if we so desire. We rarely do. He only drinks soft drinks around us. Am I worrying needlessly? Should I bring this up to my son or husband or let it go in the hope that he's not in danger? Thank you for any advice.Worried Mother in Texas

DEAR WORRIED MOTHER: You say you didn't notice your son's addiction until he hit "rock bottom." That's a lot not to notice.

Your reluctance to communicate your own questions or anxieties might have been a factor in your family's experience with addiction when your son was young.

If you are worried, share your worry with your son.

Be open in ways that you want for him to be open.

There is no one answer for every addict.

Your son may believe he can responsibly and safely sample wine on rare occasions. But while his addiction is his disease to manage, it affects the whole family.

Talk to him. Share your observation. Tell him you're worried he may be relapsing.