Newsday&#39;s Working Moms Summit panelists recall their toughest days as working moms and share what they learned, how they&nbsp;grew from&nbsp;the experiences and what advice they&nbsp;have for other Long Island moms who face the same challenges.

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The hardest days as a working mom were not the days I was tired. They were the days I felt like I was disappointing my children. 
Like a lot of Long Island families, there were times my husband and I both worked but that did not always mean there was extra money for everything our kids wanted. There were times when vacations and other experiences were simply not within our budget. Disney trips, expensive sneakers, gaming systems or the latest thing everyone else seemed to have were out of reach.&nbsp; 
Seeing your child disappointed or feeling left out of experiences their friends were having is something I carried guilt about for a long time, and I think many moms quietly carry that, too. I remember questioning myself. Am I giving them enough? Will they feel like they missed out?&nbsp; 
We learned to become resourceful. We took advantage of town amenities, free festivals, parks, beaches, movie nights, sports, road trips to places like Coney Island and community events. We stayed busy and connected. Some of our best memories came from really simple things like making homemade Halloween costumes from our thrifting ventures, reading books while eating popcorn, garage “sale-ing,” or going on little lunch dates together. 
At the time, I worried those moments were not enough because I could not always give my kids the bigger experiences. 
I also quietly struggled with whether I was giving my children enough cultural connection and enough exposure to Spanish. As a Latina mom, that carried a different kind of guilt for me. I wanted my children to feel deeply connected to their heritage. But like many bicultural families, between trying to keep everything afloat, it was not always easy to create a fully immersed Spanish-speaking environment I imagined. I still wish they spoke Spanish more fluently. 
Over time, though, I realized that while heritage language is an important part of culture, it is not the only thing that shapes identity. Culture also lives in traditions, food, music, family stories, values, celebrations and community. Part of why I created Latina Moms Connect came from this realization I wanted families like mine to have spaces where children could experience culture in joyful and meaningful ways and feel proud of who they are. 
Ironically, years later we did eventually make it to Disney, but this past Mother’s Day when I asked my children what memories stood out most from growing up, they did not mention that expensive trip or things we bought them. They remembered the popcorn and reading together, the costumes we made, and that I showed up for them. I realized I had spent years worrying about what I could not give my children, while they were holding onto moments that cost very little, but meant everything. 
I grew through all of this by learning to stop measuring my parenting against what I thought I was supposed to provide and focusing more on connection, presence and the home environment we were creating together. 
Looking back, I know my children most remember how they felt growing up, the traditions we created, and that I showed up for them with love. 
 &nbsp; 
Dorothy Santana is the founding president of Latina Moms Connect Inc.&nbsp;

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'I worried those moments were not enough'

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One of the hardest days I experienced as a working mom happened when my oldest daughter was 1 and I was six months pregnant with my second daughter. 
At the time, I was doing what so many working moms do daily: managing the schedule, getting everyone where they needed to be, trying to show up fully at work while carrying the mental load of motherhood and pregnancy. My days were planned down to the minute. 
That morning, I packed up my daughter, loaded the diaper bag into the car, and drove to the babysitter before work. Completely normal morning. Or so I thought. 
I pulled into the driveway, walked up to the door, and the babysitter told me she no longer wanted to watch my daughter anymore. Just like that. 
No heads up. No “Let’s finish out the week.” No transition. Just me, standing there pregnant with a toddler on my hip thinking, “What now?” 
I remember sitting in my car completely overwhelmed trying not to cry because I had minutes to figure out how I was going to work that day. And how was I going to make this all work moving forward? 
I think so many moms know this feeling. The pressure of needing to hold it together when your world is unraveling because people are still counting on you. Your family needs you. Your job needs you. 
What I learned during that season is moms are far more resourceful than we give ourselves credit for. 
I leaned on family. I asked for help. I pieced things together day by day until eventually I found a long-term babysitter, who ended up becoming one of our greatest blessings. She cared for my girls for years, loved them like her own, and brought so much peace into a season that initially felt so chaotic. 
Looking back now, that experience also confirmed something bigger for me. 
At the time, I was working a more traditional 9-5 role, and I still believe there is value in that path for so many women. But I started realizing how deeply I craved flexibility, creativity and ownership over my time. I wanted to build a life where I could pursue my passions while also being present for my family. 
That day did not magically turn me into an entrepreneur overnight. But it planted something in me. 
Now, as a business owner and mom, life still gets messy sometimes. There are still hard days. There are still moments where I’m answering emails at cheer practice or mentally organizing my schedule while making dinner. I don’t think the balancing act ever fully disappears. But building a life aligned with who you are matters. 
My advice to other working moms is to not underestimate your ability to pivot when life throws something unexpected your way. 
Also, always have a backup babysitter. Trust me on that. 
 &nbsp; 
Jenn Fasano is the founder of Babes in Business Long Island and a business consultant.

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'I had minutes to figure out how I was going to work that day'

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AIAudio - 'I had minutes to figure out how I was going to work that day'

BRANDING PHOTOSHOOT - FASANO

The hardest days of motherhood for me are not based on one frustrating moment, but realizing and understanding that I simply cannot be in two places at once. 
As a physician, I may be navigating a complex patient diagnosis while my phone buzzes with texts from my children — reminders of a school pick up, added practices, or that they are hungry. The guilt of not being "100% present" in every arena -- the physician who needs to close her charts, the parent with an empty fridge, the professional who missed the school reminder for “wear your favorite sports team jersey” -- used to feel like a personal failure. 
However, these moments of juggling have taught me an important lesson: Perfection is not the gold standard. Instead, I focus on impact and influence. 
I’ve learned that it is okay to choose one thing to do exceptionally well each day and give myself grace on the rest. Growth came from the courage to say "no" to some things and "yes" to the intentional ones. 
To all the guilty moms, I offer this: Trust the evidence over your guilt. 
Research consistently shows that children of working mothers often have excellent developmental outcomes, frequently demonstrating increased independence and strong professional aspirations. 
You aren't just "working." You are modeling resilience, intellectual curiosity, and the reality that a woman can be many things at once. By letting go of the need to be everything to everyone, you aren't doing less, you’re showing your children how to live a full, authentic life. 
And you should also make sure you don’t lose yourself in all of this. 
Stephanie Trentacoste McNally, MD, FACOG, FACS, MSCP, is the medical director of the Katz Institute for Women's Health and an associate professor at&nbsp;Hofstra University's Zucker School of Medicine. She is a panelist at Newsday's upcoming Working Moms Summit on June 3, 2026.

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'I simply cannot be in two places at once'

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I’ll never forget the call I got from my son years ago while I was out of town at a weeklong conference. He was about 15. 
He had a very tight group of friends who had known each other since nursery school. Most of the moms had less demanding jobs and were able to get close. 
One of the moms had been diagnosed with melanoma. She was the mom that everyone loved. Thoughtful, great with all the kids, so friendly and inviting to everyone, she would often invite the kids and moms to her pool. (I never could go; I was always busy working.) 
Her cancer was very aggressive. The moms would keep me posted on her condition, but I didn’t have the latest update. I intended to follow up before my trip, but got too busy and didn’t remember. My plan, when I returned, was to get the updates and prepare my son for the worst. 
So, there I was in a hotel room in the Midwest somewhere, far away from my son when he called as I was getting ready to go out for a dinner meeting. “Mom, one of the moms will be taking us all to the hospital,” he said, “it’s a place called hospice.” 
My heart dropped deep into my stomach. He continued so innocently, “She’s fine, mom. Everyone is going in to see her tonight, and we all chipped in and got her flowers too.” 
He had no understanding of how sick she really was. The kids only knew her diagnosis was serious. To be honest, I don’t think any of us fully realized how quickly her condition would deteriorate, nor did my son or his friends understand that it meant this incredibly caring mom to all would not make it. 
I can vividly recall where I was standing in my hotel room that night, so many hours away from my innocent son. I cried when our call ended. I did my best to prepare him for this visit without being with him, holding back a bit of detail as I described to him what to expect. But I was not there. I desperately wanted to go with all of them and be there for my son to say goodbye to this wonderful woman. I felt the hole in my heart deepen. 
It turned out that the kids didn’t go, but the flowers made it. Perhaps that was better for her. Thankfully, I did make it home before she passed and we were able to go to the funeral together. I was so glad to be there at that moment for my son. 
Look, we all pave different paths for ourselves and our families. We must embrace our choices rather than have regrets. 
I can’t change who I am — a career woman with a lot of drive. Over the years, I have often wondered what life would have been like if I didn’t work, or at least if I had a less demanding career. My kids, adults now, and I have discussed my crazy hours many times. They grew into independent and fabulous people and it warms my heart that they tell me this: 
“Mom, if we had the ability to do it again, we wouldn’t change a thing. Your career made us who we are today, with the values we are proud of. It taught us a lot.” 
 &nbsp; 
Randi Shubin Dresner is the president and CEO of Island Harvest.&nbsp;

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'I desperately wanted to go with all of them'

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At 28 years old in 2001, I was making nearly $150,000 a year at the global shipping technology company Pitney Bowes. I was ambitious, independent and thriving professionally long before women openly talked about balancing career success and motherhood. But days after the Sept. 11 attacks, something inside me shifted forever. 
Like every New Yorker, I was emotionally shaken. The world suddenly felt fragile and unpredictable. My daughter was just 3 months old, and I remember driving over the Throgs Neck Bridge realizing I could no longer see myself leaving her to chase a paycheck, no matter how successful I was. 
So while driving, I called my husband and told him I had just quit my job. I truly thought he was going to panic. Instead, without even flinching, he calmly said, “Do whatever you need to do, baby. I got you.” 
I stayed home to raise my daughter and never regretted walking away from the money or the title. Those years became some of the happiest and most meaningful of my life, even if I went from eating filet mignon to peanut butter and jelly. 
Years later though, something started pulling me back toward work again. 
I saw the brand-new Allegria Hotel being built directly on the ocean in my hometown, and I became obsessed with the idea of working there — the energy of it, the beauty of it, and the excitement of building something from the ground up. 
The funny part was I had absolutely no hotel industry experience whatsoever. But I knew one thing with certainty: Nobody would outwork me. My drive, creativity, determination and ability to connect with people would outweigh anything missing from my resume. 
Then life blindsided me. 
The day before my interview, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. 
I can still remember gripping the steering wheel trying to process how life could feel so hopeful and devastating at the exact same time. One moment I was unstoppable, and the next I was terrified for our future. 
That night, I said something to him that still hurts me to this day. “You cannot tell anyone except our family that you have cancer. No one will hire a woman with two little kids and a husband with cancer.” 
I can hardly believe those words came out of my mouth. But at 38 years old, I understood the harsh reality many working mothers quietly face. Employers often do not want to hear about personal problems. They want confidence, positivity and reliability. Right or wrong, I was terrified people would see my liability before they ever saw my potential. 
I remember calling my mother crying, “Why is this happening to me? I’m only 38 years old.” And I will never forget what she said to me. 
“Why not you? What makes you better than anyone else? Who promised you a rose garden?” 
At first, her words shocked me. But they also snapped me out of fear, self-pity and taught me one of the greatest lessons of my life: Hardship is part of being human. No one gets through life untouched. Strength is built during the weakest moments. 
So the next morning, I put on a beautiful white suit, blasted Elton John’s “The Bitch Is Back” to drown out my fear, walked into that interview, and pretended my heart was not completely breaking. I got the job. 
I worked at the hotel for six years, and today my husband has been cancer-free for 15 years. That experience taught me more about resilience than any professional achievement ever could. 
My advice to other mothers is simple. The hardest moments in life often lead us to something greater than we ever imagined. Women are built to rise — and some of our greatest strength is born in the moments that try to break us. 
 &nbsp; 
Ingrid Dodd is a media, marketing and communications strategist and host/producer of the “Rebranding Menopause” podcast.&nbsp;

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'I put on a beautiful white suit, blasted Elton John ... and pretended my heart was not completely breaking'

'I pretended my heart was not completely breaking'

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AIAudio - 'I put on a beautiful white suit, blasted Elton John ... and pretended my heart was not completely breaking'

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Our hardest days as working moms on Long Island

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Newsday's Working Moms Summit panelists recall their toughest days as working moms and share what they learned, how they grew from the experiences and what advice they have for other Long Island moms who face the same challenges.

Newsday's Working Moms Summit panelist Randi Shubin Dresner's advice to LI moms.

Newsday's Working Moms Summit panelist Jenn Fasano's advice to LI moms.

Newsday's Working Moms Summit panelist Dr. Stephanie Trentacoste McNally's advice to LI moms.

Newsday's Working Moms Summit panelist Dorothy Santana's advice to LI moms.

Newsday's Working Moms Summit panelist Ingrid Dodd's advice to LI moms.

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