Ready for the big game despite huge loss
Handout photos of the Young family at the Maryland game this March.
Ryan and Kevin Young, 22-year-old twins from Manhasset, will be on opposite sides Saturday when Maryland plays Duke in the NCAA men's Division I lacrosse semifinals in Baltimore.
But they will be united in their grief and their pride, six weeks after the twins' mother, Maria Young, 54, died of pancreatic cancer.
Even as she struggled against the deadly disease, Maria Young inspired Ryan, a member of the Maryland team, and Kevin, who plays for Duke, by traveling to several of their games this season. She was in Durham, N.C., when Duke hosted Maryland on March 5, in a wheelchair pushed by her oldest son, Michael, a former Duke lacrosse player who graduated in 2008.
It was the last game she was able to attend.
Her sons know how much she enjoyed that day and how pleased she would have been to see them on the sport's biggest stage this weekend.
"She's looking down, smiling," said Kevin Young, a senior. "She couldn't be happier right now."
Their mother's absence cuts deep. "We thought about that and we talked about it," Kevin Young said. "It's a little freaky the way things worked out. You can't put it into words, but we know she's been a part of this."
Maria Young, who was divorced from the boys' father, Spencer Young, gave up her teaching career in special education to raise her three boys, and she attended as many of their lacrosse games as she could.
Ryan Young, a senior, was able to clasp tightly to his mother's hand just before she died on April 17. In many ways, the star player has not let go.
Lacrosse had an important role as a distraction in her sons' lives as Maria Young fought the disease for three years.
"It was a tough time in my life," Ryan Young said. "I went back [to Long Island] that Sunday morning. That was very tough to be holding her hand, but I knew she was going to a better place and not suffering anymore."
Of lacrosse as a form of therapy, he said, "The best part about this was the support my teammates and coaches provided. That made it a lot easier. Lacrosse was definitely a good place to go to get into a normal routine."
Ryan Young was able to visit Maria every weekend during the season, but Kevin, who dresses for games but rarely plays for Duke because of a serious ankle injury that curtailed his college career, only got away for a couple of trips and was not there when his mother died.
"That was a difficult phone call, to be sure," Kevin Young said of hearing from his brother on the night of April 17. "Obviously, it was a tough time, but having support from Ryan and [older brother] Michael was important. We are a strong family and we stayed together."
Maryland has dedicated its season to Maria Young. Players wear "MY" stickers inside their helmets. The assistant coaches wear purple shirts, the color associated with pancreatic cancer awareness. Head coach John Tillman wears a purple baseball hat, even though the Terrapins' primary school color is red.
"To create awareness for pancreatic cancer, that's what Maria would have wanted," Tillman said. "She will always be a part of this lacrosse program. Her spirit is what this program is all about. We're fighters; we have compassion and we look out for others."
Ryan Young, who graduated from Manhasset High School, said he called Kevin, a Chaminade graduate, right after Maryland's upset of No. 1-ranked Syracuse Sunday night. Ryan assisted on the game-winning goal in overtime.
Duke had earned its Final Four berth earlier in the day with a victory over Notre Dame.
The games were on the twins' 22nd birthday. While the victories were something to savor, it was their mom who was foremost on their minds.
"We didn't talk much about the games," Kevin Young said.
