A change of heart needed for Tiger Woods

This is a much more substantial resolution than cutting down on chocolate or visiting the gym twice a week. For Tiger Woods, it must be more of a New Year’s revolution than resolution. He has to stop being a world-class grudge-holder.

Vengeance always has been as valuable a tool for Woods as his 3-wood. Any perceived slight was fuel for his competitive bonfire. Make even the most innocuous remark about his game, his swing or even his equipment and you were an instant pariah. That has to change.

Whoever is advising Woods -- one of the many rumors claims that Arnold Palmer is in that group -- must remind him that a vendetta is like a golf club: gripping it too tightly is absolutely no good.

Woods will be on everyone’s mind this week when the PGA Tour season officially begins in Maui with the SBS Championship . He won’t be there, of course, because he is on a personal indefinite leave to piece his life back together after the calamity of his admitted “infidelities.” But the rest of the golfers will be wondering when he will be back. The better question is how.

How will he sound and look and act? How much will the “I” of the Tiger be supplanted by humility? It should be considerable. It’s like Bill Clinton said after the Monica Lewinsky debacle: Anyone who seeks forgiveness had better be prepared to give it.

Not that Woods lacks experience in mercy. He didn’t seek the professional death penalty on Kelly Tilghman when she made that hideously ugly quip using the word “lynch.” But honestly, Woods is far better known for getting even than getting soft.

People at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic who denied him an invitation when he was a teenager had to pay for it in perpetuity, according to published reports. He made it a point never to show up.

Fellow pro Stephen Ames mused about Woods’ erratic tee shots before they faced each other in the 2006 World Match Play Championship and Woods thrashed him, 9 and 8. When he was asked afterward about Ames’ comment, Woods tersely, defiantly and repeatedly said, “9 and 8.”

Woods’ frosty relationship with Nick Faldo turned icy after the latter, a former world No. 1 turned TV commentator, made an offhand derogatory comment about one swing. Woods snubbed NBC broadcaster Jimmy Roberts for reportedly asking about a slump.

“Target” was more than just the title of Woods’ offseason event in 2007, the Target World Challenge. It was the description of mild verbal jousting partner Rory Sabbatini, who withdrew before the final round of the event. Sabbatini drew a fusillade from Tiger supporters such as Fred Couples, no stranger to withdrawing from tournaments who nonetheless said Sabbatini was “messing with the wrong guy.”

No wonder all other golfers reverently referred to the No. 1 player as “Tiger.” It was a jolting (and refreshing) departure at the Masters last year to hear Greg Norman refer to him as “Woods.”

CBS golf analyst Peter Kostis is Exhibit A-Plus. He once commented on Woods’ swing changes in less than glowing terms. The golfer was so enraged that he refused to speak with Kostis on air.

This had a chilling effect on the entire golf media, especially the TV people: Criticize Tiger and you don’t get Tiger. And if you don’t get Tiger, you’re finished.

All of us fell into line and none of us got to know him, not even the reporters who are on tour every week and have supposedly good relationships with him. Personally, I let slide the one bright red flare that went off when I heard that he skipped his daughter’s baptism. The christening was in Sweden while Woods was at a fundraiser in Las Vegas. If only someone had at least asked a question about that.

The point is, Woods always had it completely his way. Even in one of his early mea culpas late in 2009, he took a swipe at the tabloids for reporting on stuff that essentially turned out to be true. That was no time to be lecturing anyone.

His way is done. The free ride crashed into that fire hydrant and tree.

Can he come back from all this? Of course. It will be good when he does. We all are imperfect. Everyone needs a Mulligan here and there. Welcome to the club, Tiger.

But, like the rest of us, he will have to start at square one. He must be open, friendly and humble. He must regain the trust with the sponsors that dropped him, and he can’t do it from arm’s length. It wouldn’t hurt him to play in the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic or the Shell Houston Open.

Woods’ followers have been reminding us, “Hey, he’s only human.” No kidding. They ought to be shooting that message at Tiger and at themselves because they are the ones who always acted as if he were something more.