Whew! Nine season finales in one night

Thursday night, get ready to lose your mind.

There are nine season finales coming up - nine! - and we rank 'em in order of must-see hotness. Meanwhile, for those you miss, there's always the DVR and Hulu.

1. "The Mentalist" (CBS/2, 10 p.m.)

Surprised it's No. 1 on this list? Be surprised not. Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) finally comes face to face with Red John, the serial killer who started this series in the first place. (If you don't care to watch the whole show, try tuning in at 10:55.) But will CBS really tell us who Mr. John is? Highly unlikely. Expect a mere glimpse, or less.

2. "Fringe" (Fox/5, 9 p.m.)

What happens when alternate universes jostle up against one another? Well, Peter (Joshua Jackson) has jumped from one universe to the next, with Olivia (Anna Torv) and Walter (John Noble) in pursuit to prevent one world from obliterating the other. Tonight Olivia fights her alternate self and Walter meets the mysterious William Bell (Leonard Nimoy). This finale has "wild / crazy" written all over it, capping "Fringe's" superlative season.

3. "The Office" (NBC/4, 9 p.m.)

Jo Bennett (Kathy Bates) returns to root out the Dunder Mifflin snitch who told the press that the company's printers are more like toasters - they catch on fire. Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), meanwhile, buys the DM building. "The Office" couldn't mount a lousy finale if it tried, plus Bates' Bennett was an early and memorable standout this season.

4. "CSI" (CBS/2, 9 p.m.)

Surely Ray Langston (Laurence Fishburne) is not the notorious murderer known as Mr. Jekyll, even though he's presumed to have a genetic disposition for such an unfortunate personality trait. Best to ask another notorious killer, Nathan Haskell (Bill Irwin), to see what he knows.

5. "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC/7, 9 p.m.)

A very scary guy gets past Seattle Grace's nonexistent security guard and has something he wants to show Derek (Patrick Dempsey) - his gun. People you know die in this two-hour closer, although at least Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) has good news. Nevertheless, some of the plot points sound like standard-issue season-finale gimmicks - killers on the loose, multiple victims of a multicar pileups. (What's missing? Key cast members battling life-threatening illness or injury. Wait, that was last year.)

6. "30 Rock" (NBC/4, 9:30 p.m.)

Liz (Tina Fey) navigates three weddings in one day and in the process meets the guy she may love forever. On second thought, maybe not. This is Liz we're talking about. Jack (Alec Baldwin), meanwhile, has to make a very big choice: Avery (Elizabeth Banks) or Nancy (Julianne Moore). This is another show that knows how to make reliably funny season-closers. 

7. "Bones" (Fox/5, 8 p.m.)

No one seemed to much like last season's sex-dream finale - even Booth (David Boreanaz) who had the darned dream in the first place. The show promises to make amends for that.

8. "Parks and Recreation" (NBC/4, 8:30 p.m.)

Remember that huge construction pit that effectively began this whole series last year? Well, it may finally get filled.

9. "Community" (NBC/4, 8 p.m.)

Britta (Gillian Jacobs) and Professor Slater (Lauren Stamile) battle for the affections of Jeff (Joel McHale). Doesn't seem too cliff-hangy to me. At least the show is funny and the finale should be as well.