God Squad: 'Right' versus rights in spiritual conflicts

I'm the Grand Knight of my local Knights of Columbus Council. We have a large catering hall where we host weddings, sweet 16 parties, etc. Once or twice a year, we're asked to host a bar or bat mitzvah, which we're happy to do. A small crucifix hangs at one end of the catering hall. Sometimes, party hosts ask that we cover the crucifix. We explain politely that we're a Catholic men's charitable organization and that the crucifix can never be covered within our tradition. How can I explain this from a Jewish point of view to our Jewish friends?

- G.K.S., via e-mail

I've been looking for a way to talk about the proposed mosque near Ground Zero, never imagining that a question about a crucifix at a bar mitzvah would give me the opportunity. Have patience and follow my thinking.

You have the right to keep the crucifix in your catering hall uncovered. It's your hall, and guests are only renting the space. They should realize that yours is not a secular catering hall but a Catholic charitable hall with a small catering business on the side. Many Jewish patients are treated in Catholic hospitals, which openly display crucifixes in the rooms. You're right in your position, but the hosts are not wrong. Let me explain.

Life does not have very many right versus wrong issues. Most ethical and spiritual conflicts we face are conflicts of rights versus rights.

One important moral and spiritual principle bumps up against another, and it's our thorny task to try to sort out which right is, well, more right. In your case, the opposing right is simple sensitivity to the feelings of your guests. Yes, they're commercial guests, but guests at your facility all the same. You can understand the awkwardness of saying a Jewish blessing over the bread and dancing the Horah under the shadow of such a powerful Christian symbol.

Therefore, even though you don't have to do anything, a sensitive heart should lead you to accommodate the legitimate feelings of your guests. I'd suggest you do something with the crucifix. I don't think you should cover it, as that would be disrespectful to your religion and the power of this symbol. You might consider simply taking the crucifix down for the duration of Jewish parties.

Other uses of your hall might also conflict with the symbolic meaning of the crucifix. Displaying a crucifix during Bingo Night, Las Vegas Night or a rowdy Super Bowl party could present spiritual conflicts. Even without people singing "Hava Nigila" in the shadow of a crucifix, the dual religious/secular nature of your hall can and will cause problems.

So what does a crucifix in a Knights of Columbus Hall teach us about the proposed mosque near Ground Zero? The comparisons are actually very apt. Those who want to build the mosque and cultural center are right; they have a legal right to build there. Forcing them to move would not only be illegal but also a violation of our cherished American value of freedom of religion.

Those who oppose the present siting of the mosque are not wrong.

The agony of the 9/11 attacks by fanatical Islamists makes them understandably uncomfortable about the prospect of a 13-story Muslim building so close to the sacred ground of the attack. It seems to them more like a triumphalist provocation than a monument to interfaith understanding.

If the mosque were moved just a few more blocks away from Ground Zero, opposition would cease or at least be muted.

So what's to be done? My view is that all people, especially opponents, should be clear in affirming the right of organizers to build the mosque at the chosen site. Then, leaders for the project should be sensitive enough to change the site of their own free will.

To get to the place where the issue is the human heart, not human courts, those on both sides need to talk to each other. This hasn't happened sufficiently.

The only way to settle the question of where the mosque should be built is to first determine its purpose. If it is to be constructed, as leaders affirm, to build bridges, then they must realize that you don't build bridges by burning them first. If they wish to build the mosque no matter what large segments of the community feel, we're in for a bumpy ride.

In 1984, Pope John Paul II had the right to build a convent and erect a 90-foot cross on the grounds of Auschwitz to promote prayerful reconciliation and understanding. However, once he understood that such a symbol erected on Jewish sacred ground would not be perceived positively, he courageously and sensitively decided to move the convent farther away.

The solution to the Ground Zero mosque controversy lies in a Knights of Columbus Hall and in our loving dream of some day being able to find each other.